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My ex said I was a narcissist. I told her she was projecting. My ex before that said the same thing. I told myself she was just bitter. The one before that? She stopped talking mid-sentence one day and said "you never actually listen, do you?" I thought about that sentence for three years. Last month I took a narcissism trait test. 28 questions. I was so sure I'd score low. I didn't. And for the first time in my life, I'm sitting with that instead of explaining it away.