Onoriode Victor Onakpoberuo Facebook ad: “The Personal, Social, and Spiritual Dimensions of…”

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The Personal, Social, and Spiritual Dimensions of Forgiveness and the Human Struggle With Grievances. By Onakpoberuo Onoriode Victor Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful and yet most difficult acts known to humanity. It sits at the intersection of the personal, the social, and the spiritual, touching the deepest layers of human psychology while shaping the moral fabric of societies. People desire peace, yet their hearts often hold on to wounds. They admire mercy, yet they frequently cling to resentment. They long for reconciliation, yet the instinct to retaliate often feels more natural. These conflicts reveal that forgiveness is not merely a moral duty but a profound philosophical and spiritual challenge that tests the limits of human nature. Philosophers have long recognized that human beings live with an instinct for self preservation, meaning that any harm is perceived as a threat to personal worth or dignity. Aristotle wrote that anger arises when a person feels dishonored and believes that revenge might restore a sense of balance or dignity (Aristotle, *Rhetoric*). Thomas Hobbes later suggested that humans are naturally inclined to defend themselves aggressively when they sense injury or disrespect, and the desire for vengeance emerges from the impulse to secure safety or pride (Hobbes, 1651). These insights show that the urge to retaliate is rooted in the instinct to protect the self from perceived moral or emotional injury. Yet the difficulty of forgiveness is not only philosophical. It is also emotional. Hurt creates a rupture in the inner world. When a person feels betrayed, humiliated, or abused, the memory becomes tied to identity and self worth. The mind replays the offense, and each recollection deepens the emotional wound. Psychologists note that unresolved pain can become intertwined with the sense of self, making forgiveness feel like losing control or surrendering power (Enright, 1996). This is why forgiveness often feels unnatural, because the heart believes that letting go of resentment means justifying the harm or weakening the memory of suffering. But true forgiveness does not excuse wrongdoing, it frees the wounded person from the emotional prison created by the grievance. Societally, unforgiveness creates cycles of hatred and retaliation that can last for generations. Communities that nurture resentment often fall into patterns of violence, mistrust, and division. Hannah Arendt observed that human relationships become impossible without the capacity to forgive, because forgiveness interrupts the continuous flow of consequences that would otherwise doom society to perpetual conflict (Arendt, 1958). When humans cannot forgive, they continually reopen the wounds of history and pass the pain to their children. This means forgiveness is not only personal but also social, because it has the power to restore relationships, heal communities, and prevent the endless repetition of conflict. Spiritually, forgiveness reaches its deepest meaning in the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus placed forgiveness at the center of spiritual life, teaching that the human heart can only experience divine freedom when it releases resentment. When Peter asked how many times forgiveness should be extended, Jesus replied that forgiveness must be given seventy times seven, meaning that it must be limitless and offered as a way of life rather than a calculated moral response (Matthew 18:21 to 22). Jesus revealed that unforgiveness imprisons not the offender but the offended, for resentment slowly becomes a spiritual burden that darkens the soul. He taught that the Father forgives freely and completely, and that those who receive such mercy must extend it to others, not as a legal requirement but as a reflection of inner transformation (Matthew 6:14 to 15). The teachings of Jesus confront the root of the desire for revenge by addressing the interior world of the human heart. Jesus did not only forbid murder, He addressed the anger that gives birth to it. He taught that hatred is itself a form of internal violence and that forgiveness must begin not with forgetting the injury but with healing the heart that has been injured (Matthew 5:21 to 24). The emphasis of Jesus is that forgiveness is not simply an external act but an internal liberation. It is the release of bitterness so that love can be restored, both toward God and toward fellow humans. The struggle with forgiveness is therefore inseparable from the struggle for healing. To forgive is to confront the pain honestly and to acknowledge the depth of the wound. It is also to recognize that revenge cannot remove the past, nor can resentment restore dignity. As Lewis argued, forgiveness is the moment when a person chooses to rise above natural impulses and participate in the higher moral law that reflects the character of God (Lewis, 1943). In choosing to forgive, the individual asserts that evil does not have the final say over the heart, meaning that the self is no longer defined by injury but by the ability to transcend it. On a personal level, forgiveness is a gradual process that requires emotional courage. It involves acknowledging grief, understanding the motivations behind the offending action, and separating one’s identity from the memory of harm. Many people resist forgiveness because they believe that to forgive is to allow injustice to go unpunished. But forgiveness does not deny justice. Instead, it releases the burden of revenge and entrusts justice to higher moral or divine order. As Paul writes, vengeance belongs to God because human retaliation often corrupts judgment and destroys both parties (Romans 12:19). On a social level, forgiveness is a transformative force. It rebuilds trust, restores relationships, and repairs the moral structure of communities. When individuals practice forgiveness, they help create a society where peace becomes possible and where conflicts can be resolved without violence. Without forgiveness, human societies would collapse under the weight of bitterness and retaliation. On a spiritual level, forgiveness is an act of obedience and alignment with the heart of God. Jesus demonstrated perfect forgiveness on the cross, praying for those who crucified Him, asking the Father to forgive them because they did not understand the depth of their actions (Luke 23:34). This shows that forgiveness is an expression of divine love, a love that transcends pain and turns suffering into redemption. Therefore, forgiveness stands as one of the highest expressions of human and spiritual maturity. It requires honesty about pain, a willingness to release resentment, and an openness to personal and communal healing. It allows individuals to reclaim their inner peace, communities to overcome cycles of hostility, and society to flourish with restored dignity and unity. The teachings of Jesus Christ provide the clearest and most transformative foundation for forgiveness, offering not only a moral instruction but the spiritual power to practice it. In this light, forgiveness becomes not merely a personal choice but a gift to the world, a force strong enough to heal wounds, dismantle hatred, and restore hope for humanity. References: Arendt, H. (1958). *The human condition*. University of Chicago Press. Aristotle. (2007). *On rhetoric*. (G. A. Kennedy, Trans.). Oxford University Press. (Original work published ca. 350 BCE) Enright, R. D. (1996). *Counseling within the forgiveness triad*. Counseling and Values, 40(3), 174 to 189. Hobbes, T. (1651). *Leviathan*. London. Lewis, C. S. (1943). *The abolition of man*. Oxford University Press. The Holy Bible, King James Version. Matthew 5, 6, 18. Romans 12. Luke 23. #jesus #love #peace

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