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OFFICIAL STATEMENT We need to address recent concerns from our customers and apologize for the unexpected social and domestic chaos our pet hair removers have caused. Apparently, removing every last strand of pet hair with almost no effort has consequences. We never meant to make your friends assume you deep-cleaned your entire home overnight, or cause arguments about whether you “definitely hired a cleaner.” And we certainly did not intend for your partner to realize you were the source of the shed, not the pets. But the Uproot tools work a little too well. Our engineered metal edge is so effective, it is revealing the true color of couches that have not been visible since 2016. Our only intention was to give you a cleaner home, not trigger competitive cleaning sprees or expose years of forgotten upholstery. If this has led to obsessive scraping sessions, sudden pride in your carpet, or a newfound rivalry with your lint roller, we sincerely apologize. Love, Uproot Clean P.S. To make up for it, we're upping our Sale Discount. Enjoy it, then blame us later.