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HOLIDAY STATEMENT FROM UPROOT CLEAN We would like to apologize for the unintended holiday drama our pet hair removers have caused. Reports suggest that several living rooms have become too clean, leading guests to assume you suddenly turned into the kind of person who deep cleans before wrapping gifts. We did not mean to expose the real color of your holiday couch, reveal that your dog sheds more than your Christmas tree drops needles, or accidentally make your mother in law suspicious of how fast you tidied up. We also did not anticipate the competitive scraping battles between family members or the sudden panic when people realized how much hair was hiding in “freshly vacuumed” carpets. If our tools triggered arguments over who gets to clean the guest room next, or made anyone question their life choices after seeing a pile of pet hair on Christmas Eve, we sincerely apologize. Love, Uproot Clean P.S. Holiday discounts are boosted. Enjoy them, then blame the chaos on us.