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THREE The First Time I Died I waited for the worse to happen and so did everyone else from the look on their faces. There was silence from all angles. The other members of the gang stopped moving as if it was an order. Henry took three steps backwards and stopped, and then looked at her again more intensely. “Police!” he repeated in an apparent expression of disbelief. “Did you just say you're a police officer?” he asked. Her eyes popped open as if she just realised what the word ‘police’ meant in such a situation. She tried to mutter something but the words could not come out. She began to perspire and tremble profusely, and I could not help feeling sorry for her. The boss, who had stood scaringly sedately and watched the mild drama, cocked his pistol and began to approach her. I could feel her calling me with her eyes. The look was too strong for me to ignore, but I was helpless as well. The boss must have seen the look on her face and may have given it a meaning. He stopped in front of me and I nearly called him by his name and introduced myself. I knew that I wouldn't live longer than five more minutes if I did that therefore I controlled my impulses but I didn’t stop contemplating the idea. “Sir, what are you thinking about?” he asked me. “Nothing,’’ I answered. He looked at me in disbelief. “Nothing, you said?” “Yes sir.” “Are you also a policeman?” “No!” I answered without hesitating. “So, who is she to you?” “Who is who?” I asked, shaking. He looked at Linda and then turned to me. “Why is she looking at you? Don’t you know her?” I knew I had to handle the situation carefully. Two lives were at stake: Linda’s, and mine. If he finds out my identity he will certainly kill me for his own safety. Moreover, I also thought, if I told him that I was meeting Linda for the first time he may think that I was her colleague but denying her out of fear. “Don’t you know the lady, I mean, the police?” he asked. I did not know what happened, but a strange feeling came over me and suddenly hatred and boldness overwhelmed me. “Yes, I do,” I heard myself answering. He may have sensed the change and sudden confidence and belligerence in my tonality and the hatred in my eyes’ as he stepped backwards. “She is my friend!” I answered. “Well, why don’t you wait for me to ask before you answer?” He intruded. One of the passengers fell forward to the ground and began to convulse. We watched him as he struggled between life and death. It was a pitiful sight. He was in that struggling-state for minutes; quacking and pressing himself harder against the rough surface of the ground and foaming in the mouth. Everyone was afraid to offer help and did not dare to go close. The boss signalled one of the boys who walked close to the troubled man and shot him on the forehead without hesitation. The women amongst us could not hold back their emotions anymore. One started crying, and it precipitated. The gunmen yelled and threatened to shoot at them in an attempt to shut them up, but all effort proved abortive which further infuriated the gunmen. I felt like doing something bad to the gunmen but I had to restrain myself as any attempt could be suicidal. The boss turned to me again, this time his countenance had changed. “Who are you!?” he charged at me. I was afraid but managed to stay confident “I am Ben, and I am a structural engineer.” “Look, don’t tempt me: I did not ask about your profession. Let me ask before you answer. Now, what do you have for us?” “I have dollars. American dollars; and it belongs to the two of us.” “Speak for yourself. How much do you have?” I began thinking of ways to save Linda. She gave me a look that said her Life was in my hands, and somehow I believed her and did not want to disappoint her. “I have ten thousand American dollars,” I answered. He was somewhat pleased; I could tell from his facial expressions. He paused for a while, raised his head, and closed his eyes; obviously he was calculating the equivalent in naira. “It’s two million naira, sir,” I declared. “Did I ask you?” He quarrelled. “Can I go and get it? It’s inside the bus.” “Go ahead. Am waiting,” He answered, trying to hide the smile on his face. I took the advantage of his mood to make a request, daring also to make him comply. It was my last chance to save Linda from death and I was going to use it prudently. “Please sir, I’d like to ask you for a favour.” “Favour!? What is it?” He answered curiously. “The money belongs to the two of us. Please, can you spare our lives if I hand over everything to you?” “You have my word on that,” he answered and gave me an assuring look, and another look that said, ‘hurry already!’ I rushed into the bus and stopped before my seat. The sight of the young man and that of the security personnel of the bus who were shot earlier, two other dead people sitting peacefully on their seats; the blood that littered everywhere and the chaotic scene caused by all the fallen boxes and destroyed body-parts of the bus stopped me for a moment. I thought particularly about the young man and his wife who had just been murdered much more and then I prayed quietly that they be reunited in the great beyond for the ultimate honeymoon. It took me nearly two minutes to sort out my briefcase from scattered items. And when I opened it, looking at the dollars inside, I wished I hadn’t converted my naira into dollars. The naira has been taking a freefall against the dollar and the Central Bank policies were exacerbating. Like most people in the country, I had withdrawn what I had in the bank to exchange for the American dollar. I got out of the bus with my briefcase as fast as I could. The boss was closer to the bus and waiting for me. He snatched the briefcase away from me as if he owned it and then opened it. I had unlocked the numbers to douse any suspicions and to give easy access. He looked inside and his face beamed with smiles. “Good! Very good," he said to me. “You’re all padded with dollars,” he said, still looking at the money. Henry came and whispered something that obviously impressed him. He looked at Linda intently for over twenty seconds and then turned to Henry and nodded his head. Henry smiled because apparently he had gotten an approval for a request, and I wondered what it was. Everyone looked a little disturbed by the gestures and signals Henry began to make to his men as he returned to them. I had a strange feeling that Linda was still at the risk of mortality. He invited five of his men with an eye signal and immediately they ran to him smiling all the way. They consulted amongst themselves in a low tone and turned to face Linda. I was surprised to see her calm as I looked at her. She stood at ease and had her hands behind her back. From her looks, it was apparent that she had pre-empted their next line of action and had braced herself. I was confused and terrified as my heartbeat accelerated its tempo. There was complete silence everywhere as we all stared in confusion and in anticipation of an unknown looming evil. We knew something heinous was imminent from their gesticulations and signals, and we were right. The boss turned and looked at me with a mischievous and artificial smile on his face. The hate in my heart was strong and was also visible from my face and I deliberately did not hide it, but he did not care either. The gunmen selected, handed their guns to their colleagues and then began to move towards Linda and that instant me, and evidently everyone else suddenly developed an instant fever with the way our bodies quivered. As they approached her, she began to remove her clothes. I couldn’t understand the reason behind her behaviour and thus out of concern I looked at her to get her attention, but she wasn’t looking at me anymore. She completely undressed herself before they got to her, standing in complete nudity and in the full view of everyone. The women who had stopped crying suddenly resumed; and this time they whaled loudly with dramatic body movements, manners and gesticulations of mourners. The gang led her to the side of the bus and made her place her hands on the bus and bent a little. She stayed in that position, closed her eyes and lowered her head. The five men selected were about the same height of nearly six feet tall, and had similar muscular shapes. They began to loosen their belts and lowered their trousers as they came closer to her. There was obscenity and evil desire in their eyes with surprisingly no trace of shame in their eyes and attitude, and against the sympathetic whaling and pleas from nearly all the women, they went ahead to carry out their abominable mission. The first man went and stood behind her and held her by the waist. He spat on his palm, massaged his penis a little and then penetrated her from behind with a force like a chisel which had been struck by a sledgehammer. He began to pounce on her ferociously and maintained a firm grip on her waist at the same time. She groaned aloud in pain so much I could hear her from where I stood. The man continued for about eight-minutes and then stopped out of exhaustion and premature ejaculation. The second man took charge and was twice as aggressive as the first. He held her waist with one hand, and pulled her hair with the other. He carried on like a wild beast starved of sex for a million years; ramming her head against the metal body of the bus in the process in a clear display of intents to murderously harm her I could see blood covering part of her face as she cried aloud in pain and not calling for help because, to tell the obvious truth, no one would dare attempt any rescue efforts even if she called for help. The boss did not take his eyes off me. I felt he was killing her slowly and wanted to torment me and maybe the rest of us as well. I also felt that perhaps he had uncovered me and had kept a painful surprise for me. For the first time in my adult life tears threatened; and I could not resist it or stop it from pouring down my face. It flowed heavily and from my heart. The sound of her head banging on the bus, the blood that covered her face each time her face turned briefly that I could see, and the whaling coming from her and other women weakened me. I tried and mustered a little courage to confront him. “Why are you doing this? You promised to spare her, didn't you?” I asked with lots of pain in my heart and tone; I was also firm with my voice. “I haven’t killed her yet, and would not. Do you know what the police do to our people when they fall into their hands? Does the phrase ‘extra-judicial killing’ ring any bells in your head? I had a deal with you: you played your part and I’ll play mine. Keeping my word is a virtue and I am famous for it no matter what. My boys are only having fun and also sending a strong warning to everyone,” he answered. The disgust I was developing for him now exceeded all bounds and the desire to harm him increased as well. If anything at all, I thought, the word ‘virtue’ should be alien to him. “Did I hear you say ‘virtue’?” I asked. “Yes, I said, ‘virtue!’ Haven’t you heard the word before?” he was confident and full of himself as he spoke. “I know that word, and it means some of the following: moral excellence, chastity, goodness, merit, etc. Do you think you possess any of those qualities, do you?” I was beginning to raise my voice and I was no longer afraid. “Easy, easy, don’t yell; please, don’t. You should be thankful that I have kept my word. Let the boys enjoy themselves.” He was having fun with himself, but I was getting set to tangle with him. I knew that it would be suicidal to attempt anything; however, I was willing to take a risk. I thought of revealing myself and openly addressing him by his first and last name, ‘but that could also put everyone else at the risk of losing their life,’ I thought. For the sake of concealing his identity, he could kill everyone. Moreover, as he had demonstrated before, he would not hesitate doing so. Nevertheless, I was troubled but wasn’t going to be quiet. Linda had lost all strength because the animal assaulting her just didn’t want to stop. She was in a deplorable state and I could tell from her weak cry that she was only a few blocks away from death’s residence. “Do you have a sister?” I asked him. He looked at me in a demeaning manner, accessed me with his eyes and spat on the ground. I had obviously touched a sensitive part of him and he was struggling with finding a response to my question. I was sure he knew where I was going with it. “Listen,” He ordered with a husky tone and a stern look on his face. “You and everyone here are worth nothing to me,” he said with that American accent he had used earlier, “I don’t care if your girlfriend dies. She’s a police bitch and am doing you a favour against our policies by keeping her alive. Therefore, I would like it if you show some appreciation. Yes, I do have a sister, so what? She will be getting married in a few days, or do you want to meet her?” “Married! Did you just say she’s getting married?” I was deliberately being sarcastic. I walked out on him and with all the hatred and disdain that I could muster, went straight to rescue Linda. He did not come after me as I walked away. I heard the sound of a gun cocked behind me and I was expecting a shot but I was not going to stop, and I expected the worst to happen. My resolve to save her became stronger than the desire to save my own soul; therefore, I ran towards the gang with all the rage and malevolence I could muster. One of them attempted to intercept me but he was not armed. I punched him so hard on the face that he fell backwards and nearly rolled over. I quickly helped myself with a piece of dry-orange-tree branch and attacked the other ones already charging towards me. They instantly braced up for an attack as they saw me coming with fury, but one of them moved forward with clear intent to intercept me but I was faster. I bypassed him and struck the man on Linda with a heavy force instead and immediately tore the man’s bare back. The rest rushed to hold me but I also succeeded in striking a second man in the face and instantly shattered the face beyond what even the world’s best plastic surgeon might attempt to fix. Linda fell facedown and appeared motionless. I knelt to revive her but was hit on the back of my head with the barrel of a rifle. It was intense, and it made me half-conscious instantly. I fell on Linda’s back and covered her with my body. More hits from the gun barrel, feet-kicking and punches ensued. Each hit took me a step away from consciousness; however, I maintained my firm hold on her and did not move away. I may have passed out immediately because I stopped feeling pain and did not know where I was anymore. A few hours later, the sound of gunshots woke me up. I lost every sense of articulation for a brief moment and then started breathing heavily. “Please, don’t try to move.” I heard a female voice whispering from under me. Suddenly I began to gain more consciousness and then realised I was lying on someone. “Ben,” she spoke again. “Don’t move. They think we’re dead, hold on as long as they stay.” It was getting darker and that suggested to me that I might have been lying on her for over three hours. I started feeling pains all over me. My face was wet and I could tell from the smell oozing out from the wetness that it was blood. In a flash I recalled all that had happened and could see and understand the still-unfolding heinous drama. My eyelids were half opened so no one could see the eyeballs. “Are you okay?” I whispered back to her. “I can handle the pain; someone might be listening; so I suggest we stop talking for now,” she cautioned. I watched with disbelief the horror unleashed on the people who were scattered all over the place. We lay on a vantage point therefore could see with less obstructions. About fifteen people had been killed and a lot more injured from beatings. The sight was more like an invasion of a dreaded rebel army. I knew that I was in a fix, and life for me and my fiancée’s family will never be the same again should I make it away from here alive. I adjusted and placed my left hand on the ground and quietly transferred more of my body-weight to ease pressure off her and to get a clearer view of all the activities around us. The gang had literally emptied the bus of all luggage and anything of use to them, and had thoroughly ransacked everything. Also, I noticed a slight increase in the number of the gang and weaponry. They had arranged some boxes for their boss to sit on, and he was sitting with legs crossed as if he was some royalty. Back and forth like ants at the peak of their activities the gang went. To everyone they touched or spoke to they showed no mercy. Some passengers were on their knees and had their heads bowed to the ground. Others rolled on the ground and were crying out in pain obviously from inflicted injuries. As they rolled over, I could see from some of the sides they exposed blood gushing out from what looked like wounds from machete cuts. More horrifying and heart-breaking were the sights of some young women standing in fright and clinging to their torn clothes that barely covered their bodies. I could still see from the fading sun particles of sand and dry leaves on their heads, and it was painful accepting what my thoughts were suggesting that could've happened to women. As the sun went further down west, the evil men increased the tempo of their evil activities. Two Toyota Landcruiser SUVs, dark in colour with tinted glass appeared from the bush and were positioned to be loaded. The gang began to fill the bouts of the SUVs with their loot and the smiles that riddled their faces indicated that their mission was well accomplished. Linda attempted to cough but I immediately extended my hand and covered her mouth with my palm. She struggled to subdue the urge but failed. However, my hand was firm on her mouth but some of the evil men heard something. They paused, looked at our direction for a few seconds, and then carried on with their activities. I closed my eyes and really acted dead. I guess she sensed what nearly happened and acted even more dead than I did. I wished for darkness to come, because from all indications they wanted to be done and out before full darkness. As if the sun saw what was going on and was sympathetic to our plight, it did in thirty-minute what it naturally would’ve done in two-hours. Another level of trouble struck as the boss got set to leave: my eyes were still closed but got opened at once when I heard him ask in a frightening tone, “From where did you get this phone?” Many of the gang had converged around him and were worried as well. I heard the husky voice of Henry at the centre of the group: “we saw it in the bag that contains all their phones,” he answered. “Do you know anyone amongst them that owns the phone?” the boss asked. “I don’t remember who dropped it in the bag when we asked them to surrender their phones.” “Fuck! What the hell is this!? We must find out who owns this phone; we must!” the boss began to sound desperate and agitated. There was absolute silence as he and his men consulted amongst themselves. All the living passengers stared at each other in fear of what might come next. “What are we going to do?” Henry asked. “We must fish out this person,” the boss answered emphatically. The word ‘must’ sent a fresh wave of fear in me and triggered a reaction from the women who began to sob in defeat. “Tell those motherfuckers to shut their mouths or I’ll come and do it for them,” the boss ordered. He sounded more like his sister each time he spoke with that American accent in an angry tone. The man who carried out the boss’s instruction didn’t waste his time talking to anyone, he just turned to the women and fired a shot into the air. The magic worked because everyone stopped sobbing or mumbling anything at the sound of the gun. “Show them the phone and ask them who owns it,” the boss ordered. “But sir, what if the owner is dead already?” Henry asked. “How are we going to be sure then?” another voice asked from amongst the group. “You’re right,” the boss answered. “I was going to ask the same question as well.” “What do we do with this person if we find him?” Henry asked. The gang and their boss were having the trouble of their lives and so was I. They paced around frenetically in search of the owner of a mysterious phone. They used large torchlights and flashed at anything and at anyone. Amongst them was a woman. She may have joined while I was unconscious or she was actually there with them all along but I didn’t remember seeing her earlier. She spoke the most and appeared to be in charge of the search. “It’s only a man that could have the photo of a woman on his phone’s screensaver,” she said to the boss. “He must be somebody close to her. Maybe it's her boyfriend or brother.” “Brother?” the boss snapped. “I am my sister’s only brother; and her boyfriend is in Abuja, the Federal Capital.” “Well, sir,” the lady responded, “whoever owns this phone must be her lover. There’re semi-nude pictures of her in the gallery.” “My sister’s boyfriend is amongst these people? There must be some mistake,” he responded, and a long eerie silence trailed his comment. “My sister is getting married in a few days’ time...oh my god!” he exclaimed, “I have never met her husband...” “You’ve never met him?” the lady asked. “No, but we’ve spoken on the phone a few times in the past. Please, check the phone again and see if there’s a man’s picture in it. “We’ve done all of that. The phone has space for about a-thousand pictures, and she’s the only one in nearly every single one of them, and then some pictures of buildings under construction.” “It’s all over,” I said to myself in a weak whisper of surrender. My end flashed before me and I began to imagine myself attired in celestial white linen in beautiful clouds above. Quietly I began to say the ‘Lord’s Prayer’ in a bid to reconcile with my creator because as it were, I was going to meet him in only a matter of minutes, and being denied a heavenly residence after all I’ve been through wasn’t something I wished to contemplate. Everything else that was said or discussed by the gang came to me indistinctively from that moment onwards. The SUVs began to turn and face the people that were already ordered to assemble. The vehicles’ headlights flashed briefly at me and my eyes were opened. I couldn’t comprehend all that was unfolding anymore as whaling and total pandemonium ensued. Linda moved her body but I tried to press her down. She tried again and gave me signs that she wanted to get up. “What are you trying to do?” I yelled at her but in a whisper. “They’re not looking,” she said. “Let’s run!” #COPIED from the novel, I REFUSE TO DIE by U.K. MONSUR Read the action thriller filled with suspense.. 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