Sebastian Romano Facebook ad: “Turned To A Bottom After A Bad Hookup”

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1443007580506143

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Facebook, Instagram, Audience Network, Messenger and Threads

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I used to be a top. Confident. Dominant. The guy who knew what he was doing. Then my d*ck stopped cooperating. And I just stopped… topping. Let me tell you about the night that broke me. I was 28. Had hooked up with this guy from Grindr. Third hookup that week. All three ended the same way. We'd be making out, I'm rock-hard and ready to go. But when I tried to stick it in, it just started going soft. First two guys were cool about it. "It happens, no worries." This third guy looked at me and said, "You're one of the worst tops I've had. Are you even a top?" Then he got dressed and left. I sat there on my bed for probably an hour. Just staring at the wall. Feeling like less of a man. That was the moment I stopped being a top. Not because I didn't want to be. But because my body wouldn't let me. I changed my Grindr profile from "top" to "vers" the next day. Felt like I was lying. I'm not vers. I'm a top. Or at least I was. When I get messages from guys asking me to top. I'd make excuses. "Not really feeling it tonight." "Actually more into being vers/bottom right now." Or I'd just ghost them. Agree to meet up, then cancel last minute. Or worse, just not show up. I stopped going to bars. Too much pressure. What if I met someone? What if we went home together? What if I can’t get hard? Deleted my apps for two months. Told myself I was "taking a break from dating." My friends started asking questions. "Why aren't you seeing anyone?" "What happened to that guy you were talking to?" I couldn't tell them the truth. That I was terrified. That my d*ck had basically retired and I didn't know why. Then something happened that made it worse. There was this guy. We'd been orbiting each other for months. Same gym, same coffee shop in West Hollywood. I'd had a crush on him forever but never made a move. One day he came up to me at the gym. "Hey, I've seen you around. Want to grab coffee sometime?" I said yes before my brain could stop me. We met up that Saturday. He was funny, smart, gorgeous. Everything I'd imagined and more. At the end, he said, "I'm an exclusive bottom.” My stomach dropped. I panicked. Made up some excuse about being busy with work. Said maybe another time. He looked confused but said okay. I watched him walk away and hated myself. I'd just turned down the guy I'd been crushing on for months because I was too scared to fail. That night I did what any desperate person does. I Googled everything. Bought Viagra online. $350 for a bottle. First hookup after taking it, I stayed hard. Finally. Problem solved. Second hookup? Went soft anyway. Third time it worked. Fourth time it didn't. It was a fucking coin flip. And I never knew which way it would land. Tried Blue Chew. Same inconsistent results. Went to a gas station at 11 PM and bought Rhino pills because I was that desperate. They did absolutely nothing except gave me headaches. Saw a therapist for six weeks. $450. He kept saying things like "work on your self-esteem" and "practice self-compassion." Cool. Still couldn't stay hard. My friend at the gym said running helps with anxiety and blood flow. Started running every morning. Five miles. Got in great shape. My d*ck? Still uncooperative. I'd wasted six months. Turned down dates. Avoided hookups. Changed who I was. And I was running out of hope. Then my best friend Tyler asked me to come over. We've been friends since college. Both gay. Tell each other everything. Well, almost everything. I sat on his couch with a glass of wine and he just looked at me. "Okay, what is actually going on with you?" I tried to deflect. "What do you mean?" "Dude. I've known you for 10 years. You haven't dated anyone in months. You barely go out anymore. Something's up." And I just... broke. Told him everything. The hookups that failed. The Viagra that barely worked. The guy I turned down. The profile change. All of it. He listened. Didn't interrupt. Didn't judge. When I finished, he said something I wasn't expecting. "Dude. I had the same thing." I stared at him. "Last year. I was seeing this guy, really into him. But I couldn't stay hard when it mattered. Tried Viagra. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Drove me fucking insane." "What did you do?" He pulled up something on his phone. Started explaining. "Look, it's not just about blood flow. When you're anxious, three things happen at once. Your cortisol spikes and constricts your blood vessels. Your nitric oxide production crashes, which you need for erections. And your nervous system gets stuck in fight-or-flight mode. Viagra only addresses blood flow. It can't fight against your entire stress response." Everything suddenly made sense. That's why it was so unpredictable. When I was calm, Viagra could overpower the small amount of stress. But when I was anxious? My body was fighting against it. "So what do I do?" "You need something that addresses all three things," he said. "Not just blood flow." He told me about this supplement called On Deck. Has ashwagandha to lower cortisol, L-citrulline and horny goat weed for nitric oxide and blood flow, and L-theanine to calm your nervous system. I'd tried supplements before. They didn't work. "This is different," he said. "It's not forcing anything. It's removing what's blocking you in the first place." I ordered it that night. What's $36 after I'd already spent over $1,000 on shit that didn't work? Started taking 4 capsules every morning. First few days, nothing dramatic. By day 5 or 6, I noticed I felt calmer. Not drowsy or sedated. Just... less anxious in general. End of week 1, I matched with a guy on Grindr. We texted for a few days. He asked me over. I almost canceled. Almost made an excuse. But something made me go. We hooked up. And I stayed hard. The entire time. After, I just laid there in disbelief. He said something about meeting up again. I barely heard him. I was too busy processing what just happened. I hooked up with someone else three days later. Stayed hard again. And again that weekend. Every. Single. Time. By week 2, I wasn't scared anymore. I was actually excited when guys messaged me. The dread was starting to fade. Week 3, I changed my profile back to "top." Felt like coming home. Week 4, I saw that guy from the gym again. The one I'd turned down. I walked up to him. "Hey, I'm sorry about bailing before. I was going through some stuff. Can I take you to dinner?" He smiled. "Yeah, I'd like that." We went out last Friday. Went back to his place after and… I topped. No fear. No anxiety. Just confidence. We had such a fun time that he asked to see me again. I said yes. Here's what makes me furious. I lost 8 months of my life thinking I was broken. Turned down the guy I'd been crushing on for months. Changed my entire identity on dating apps. Avoided situations where I might have to perform. Hid from my friends. All because nobody told me Viagra only fixes one problem when three are happening. The ED pharmaceutical industry is worth $4 billion. They're not stupid. They know Viagra doesn't fix performance anxiety. They know it works inconsistently when you're stressed. But they don't tell you that. They just want you buying refills every month. If this affected straight men at this scale, there'd be a complete solution everywhere by now. But gay men dealing with this? We get told to "just relax" or "work on your confidence" like it's a personal failing. Like we're not man enough. I spent over $1,000 on incomplete solutions. Lost 8 months of dating and sex and connection. Because nobody told me I needed all three things: lower cortisol, boost nitric oxide, and calm my nervous system. If you're reading this because you've gone soft trying to top... if you've changed your profile from "top" to "vers" because you're scared to fail again... if you're turning down guys you actually like because you don't trust your body anymore... You're not broken. Your d*ck isn't the problem. It's cortisol and anxiety fighting against you. And Viagra can't fix that. On Deck has ashwagandha that reduces cortisol, L-citrulline and horny goat weed that boost nitric oxide and blood flow, and L-theanine that calms your nervous system over time. I take 4 capsules every morning. That's it. They have a 30-day guarantee. If it doesn't work, you get your money back. But I'm betting it will. Because it gave me my identity back. My confidence back. The ability to be myself again. And the courage to ask out the guy I'd been too scared to talk to.

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rdymen.com

Turned To A Bottom After A Bad Hookup

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