Core Shift Publishing Facebook ad: “After years of saying one day, I finally…”

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Coaching & Personal Growth

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After years of saying “one day,” I finally did it. I quit my six-figure corporate job. But the real shift had very little to do with writing a resignation letter or finding something “better.” It was a long, uncomfortable, deeply internal journey — one I can now distill into three distinct phases. PHASE 1 — AWARENESS I had to realise just how deep this went. I wasn’t just tired. I wasn’t just “uninspired.” And I certainly wasn’t weak. My situation wasn’t unique. It’s almost endemic among women my age. The structures we work inside were largely designed by men, for men — and when women entered them en masse, those structures didn’t fundamentally evolve. We’re expected to perform at the same level every single day — regardless of biology, invisible labour, caregiving, emotional load. It’s like being asked to run a marathon at sprint pace — every single day — and wondering why your body eventually gives out. We can function. We can even look successful. But we’re constantly using all our energy reserves just to keep up. No wonder so many of us feel exhausted. The biggest realisation for me was this: It wasn’t personal. It was structural. And that moment is powerful — but it’s also dangerous. Because it’s easy to think: “Well, if it’s systemic, then there’s nothing I can do.” That’s not true. And this is where phase two begins. PHASE 2 — INVENTORY Yes, the wider system exists. But I realised something uncomfortable and at the same time empowering: The system is bigger than any one of us. But it’s kept alive by thousands of small daily behaviours — including mine. I did not set it up and could not fundamentally alter it single handedly. But I could identify behaviours that were quietly perpetuating my pain. But before I could change any behaviour, I had to learn to listen. Because most of my leaks weren’t logical. They were somatic. A tightness in my chest when I agreed to something I didn’t want to do. A heaviness in my stomach before opening my inbox. A subtle drop in energy when I overrode my inner truth. My body was flagging the leaks long before my mind admitted them. I had just learned to ignore those signals. I had been operating almost entirely in doing mode — pushing, performing, delivering. I had forgotten how to listen before acting. When I listened and looked honestly, I saw patterns. – Saying “yes” when I meant “no.” – Volunteering for extra responsibility without being asked. – Over-preparing to avoid criticism. – Responding to emails late at night to prove I was reliable. – Carrying decisions no one explicitly asked me to carry. – Being “the capable one” in every room. – Never renegotiating expectations once I had exceeded them. – Not speaking up and then feeling resentful. Some things at work I couldn’t change immediately — I still had bills to pay. But many things I could. And outside of work, the leaks were just as real — in my relationships with family, friends, even strangers. I started thinking of them as energy leaks. Tiny, daily drips. Not dramatic floods. A slow leak you barely notice at first. A pipe that drips quietly behind a wall. Moisture that builds up over time. On any given day, it doesn’t look like much. But leave it long enough, and the damage spreads. The structure weakens. The foundation softens. The air feels heavier. That’s what burnout felt like for me. Not dramatic collapse. Just slow erosion — until one day something cracks. When I focused on “the whole system,” I felt powerless. When I focused on the leaks, I found agency. I couldn’t stop the rain. But I could fix a drip. Then another. And every leak I sealed gave me something back. A little more energy. A little more clarity. A little more confidence. I wasn’t constantly mopping the floor anymore. And that’s when phase three became possible. PHASE 3 — REDESIGN Once I wasn’t in constant damage-control mode, I could finally ask: What structure would actually suit me? Not the version of me who could endure anything. But the woman I had become. It’s about letting inner awareness guide structural changes — not the other way around. That’s when I found the courage to ask to work part-time. On my days off, I rested. I continued closing leaks. I prepared the ground. I didn’t leap into chaos. I built quietly. Until one day, I was ready to step fully into structures I had already begun shaping. Is my life perfect? No. Do I deeply enjoy what I do? Yes. I now work in a way that suits my biology and temperament. There are days I work like a beast. There are days I do nothing. There are weeks I have long lunches with friends. Weeks I book massages. Weeks I try new classes or hobbies. And sometimes, I do all of that in one day. It’s not about working less. It’s about working and living in a way that doesn’t erode, but instead allows me to flourish and expand. If you’re exhausted, it doesn’t automatically mean you need to burn your life down. But it might mean there’s a leak somewhere that’s been running for too long. And you can’t fix a leak you can’t see. You can keep pushing harder. You can keep mopping up symptoms. You can keep blaming yourself. Or you can turn the light on. Because once you see where the water is coming from, you don’t need a revolution to build something new. You just need to start closing the leaks, one at a time.