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“You think I’m gay?” “Maybe this is funny to you, but it’s not funny to me.” I sniff, the sting in my chest quickly turning to frustration. Seriously—who is this guy? First, he kisses me like it’s a game. Then he needs a fake wife. Then he gives me the orgasm of a lifetime. And now? He’s laughing at me. Sure, I was a willing participant—up until now. But I’m done. I’m not here to be used by this man anymore. A long, tense silence follows. Then, very softly, he says, “Olive… I’m not gay.” My eyes snap to his. His voice is low but steady, like he’s saying it more for my sake than his own. “I’ve never been gay. Not even a little.” I soften at the obvious discomfort behind his words. He must still be struggling to admit the truth—even to me. “Ash, it’s okay,” I say gently. “It’s not like I’m going to out you or anything. I agreed to be your beard, and I’m sticking with it. But what’s not okay is dragging me around and using me—just because you get some kind of thrill out of it. And in case it escaped your notice? I’m painfully straight. And you’re the hottest man I’ve ever seen, so yeah—I can’t exactly resist you.” …Oh my God. Did I just say that out loud? Abort mission. Rewind time. Cheeks, please stop combusting. Why is my mouth unsupervised? Say something normal. Anything. “Weather’s great.” No—do not say weather. Breathe. Pretend you’re cool. You are not cool. You are a human megaphone for intrusive thoughts. “What’s a beard?” Ash looks genuinely confused, like he’s never even heard the term before. I blink. I’m pretending to be married to a man who doesn’t even know the term for what I supposedly am to him. Fantastic. “A beard,” I say, exasperated, “is someone who pretends to be a romantic partner to hide the other person’s real sexual orientation.” “That’s a thing?” He still looks bewildered—in a way that’s somehow irritating and kind of endearing. “Olive,” he says slowly, “let me be very clear. I’m all for people living their truth. And yeah, I get that it’s not easy for everyone to be out, so I can see why someone might hide it. But I’m not hiding anything. I’m straight.” FREE on Kindle Unlimited https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FQFCHLN1