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Shannon’s POV. “Oh, my god! Right there, Dan, oh, f'k-!” Yeah, that isn’t me screaming like a banshee being fked on my bed by my fiancé. So let’s start at the beginning, shall we? Let me take you back to this morning and the fu'ckery that ensued. The city I live in has been experiencing power outages a lot lately and unfortunately for me, one such outage made me late for work this morning. Yeah, dumbass here forgot to reset her alarm and so after waking with a start, getting my three-year-old son Chance ready, fed and out the door at record speed and into daycare, I was over thirty minutes late for work. Which only made things worse because I had to park four blocks away and run to the building. Once I got inside the concrete and glass monstrosity, I reenacted Bambi on ice because some moron didn’t put a wet floor sign in the foyer. I hate December with a passion and I have my reasons, but all in good time. Not only did I slip and slide to my desk, my boss, Mr Hanson, was waiting with that permanent scowl on his face. Seriously, this guy would give Ebenezer Scrooge a run for his money. “Oh, my gosh! Right there, Dan, oh, darn!”Yeah, that isn’t me screaming like a banshee being intimate on my bed by my fiancé. So let’s start at the beginning, shall we? Let me take you back to this morning and the absolute chaos that ensued. right? It couldn’t possibly get worse? Well, you, my dear friends, would be wrong. As I was scrambling to get my presentation finished after working through lunch, just as I was about to hit save on my computer, you guessed it — another power outage, and that means all my work, gone, zip, poof! Now, I’m not one to cry over spilled milk, but after this morning and the time of year, I came really close. But every cloud right. Mr Hanson sent us all home five hours early, and it’s Friday, the last day before Christmas break so a full week off. And all I wanted to do was get home, catch up on chores before collecting Chance from day care and then slip in my sweats and drink that bottle of Rose I have in the fridge. Because not only has today been an absolute disaster, but it’s the anniversary of my mother’s passing. December 19th, 2005. I was five years old so Shane, my brother, was nine years old. My mom was out getting the last bits for Christmas when she was gunned down in the store. It had nothing to do with my father or the club but still we all took it personally. So, yeah, today can go downhill. I got home looking like a drowned rat because some extremely kind person decided to drive through a slush puddle, coating me from head to toe as I was waiting on the curb to cross the street. I hate this darn city. Yeah, so today is now being classed as a write-off, do not pass go and all that. Then, when I finally make it home, I notice my fiancé’s car is in our twin parking space. But yeah, you’ve guessed it. The jerk wasn’t alone. So now we are all caught up to this moment. I’m standing in my bedroom doorway looking like the creature that crawled out of the black lagoon with a baseball bat resting on my shoulder as I watch Dan plough into a woman who is faking it for her life. She is screaming, her back is straight, facing the headboard and I can tell she is probably asking herself when will he finish so I can leave? Or possibly what she is going to have for her dinner? So, I wait and you know I’m not even hurt by this, not after today. I watch as his hands grip her hips tighter as he uses his all and I know he is about to come, so I … “Bravo, bravo. Scream louder sweetheart I don’t think the neighbours four streets over heard.” I say as I swing the bat, smashing the lamp on the dresser and both of them scream. Dan topples off the bed backwards, still inside the woman and she falls with him and he screams in pain. Opps did Dan break his little soldier? How tragic. “Shan, what are you? … It isn’t what it looks like?” He cries with real tears and I know it’s not because he has been caught, no, it’s because he has definitely hurt his little soldier. “If you try to insult my intelligence with that nonsense, I will lose my patience with you, you hear me?” I say calmly, and the woman looks up at me in shock. “Who are you, sweetheart?” I ask because if she knew he was engaged, then she will get a good old beating, but something tells me from the shocked look on her face she doesn’t. “I’m Carla. I’m so sorry that I’m meeting his sister like this.” Wait. What? “Sister? You told whatever she is to you that I’m your sister?” I ask incredulously as I glare down at the jerk who is clearly not really listening. So, I turn my attention back to the woman. “Wow, sweetheart, do you see the boudoir shoot pictures above my bed? Yeah, is this something a brother would have of his sister? No, baby girl, I am his fiancée — well, his ex-fiancée now.” I tell her and her eyes widen and she goes real pale real quick. She scrambles to climb off Dan, and he is still wailing like a toddler and then I see it, his little soldier bent at an odd angle. Oooo, that’s got to hurt. Oh well, he messed around and found out. “Please, he told me he was single, and he lived with his sister and her kid. I didn’t know.” She panics as she backs away and I know that’s the truth. “How long?” I ask, and Dan groans again and he tries to move when I place the end of the bat on his chest and he goes still, good boy. “How long?” I ask her calmly, and she gulps. “Baby, please! It was just once. I swear.” Dan sobs and I look at the woman and she shakes her head. “Be honest with me and I will let you leave here intact.” I say to her and she looks from me to Dan and I follow her line of sight and he is seething. “Six weeks, but this is the first time he has brought me here. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” She sobs now and I nod my head at her. “Take your clothes and get dressed in the bathroom and then you can leave.” I tell her and I turn my attention back to the snake at my feet. “Once. You little jerk. You know what today is, right?” I say to him, and his eyes widen in realisation.“Shan please, let me …”“Nope, you don’t need to explain anything. Now you are going to get dressed, you are going to leave the keys here and leave immediately. I will have your things packed and left at the front desk in the lobby, and you will never contact me again.” I say as I push the end of the bat further into his chest. “You can’t do that! We built a life here, and I …” “You what? Contributed? When did you contribute? The apartment and bills are in my name. Two of the credit cards are in my name. You will leave here with what you bought, your clothes, your credit card, your credit card, and your beat-up car, and nothing more. You have five minutes or you will be dragging yourself out of here after I take your kneecaps out.” I say as he pulls himself up and dresses as quickly as he can and the woman leaves the bathroom. “I’m sorry, I really am. I had no idea.” She apologises again but I’m not listening to her and she leaves. “What about Chance? He needs me?” Dan whines, and I whirl on him, pushing the bat into his chest, pushing him back towards the front door. “Is this what MY son needs? No, he doesn’t. Get gone, don’t make me lose my temper, Dan.” I say, and he snarls at me. I almost wish he would lay a hand on me, because so far I’ve been pretty calm, and all it would take is that one move for me to unleash absolute fury on him. He doesn’t, though, and he just walks away. Well, he limps, holding himself. I smile at that. Instant Karma. I spend the next hour cleaning before heading to the furniture store on Main and paid for a new mattress and sofa and they were delivered within forty-five minutes. At the same time, a locksmith arrived. Not taking any chances. My phone has been blowing up with calls and messages from Dan but each has been ignored, so I block him instead. By the time I had packed all of Dan’s things, it was time to pick up my little man, Chance. Dan isn’t his father. No, my brother’s best friend is. Chase ‘Hunter’ Briggs. I always had a crush on Chase and when I turned twenty-one and had been drinking to celebrate my coming of age, I slept with him. I was over the moon. The man I wanted, and I finally had him, or so I thought. I’m a biker princess. My father is the president of the Shadow Reapers MC and my brother Shane is my father’s VP and when Shane takes the position of president, then Chase will be his VP. I left home at twenty-one when I found Chase with his tongue deep down Ruby’s throat and walked away. I told my dad it was time for me to follow my own path, and as pissed off as he was, he understood and let me go.I never looked back, not when I found out I was pregnant, not when things got hard.I’m a Kincaid and we never give up, but I did. I settled, and now all I want to do is go home, but I can’t. Chance doesn’t need the drama in his life. Honestly, none of my family knows that Chance exists. I couldn’t risk it, knowing that I would be forced back home and into the life I wanted to leave behind. My phone rings and I see the unfamiliar number and sigh. I answer it. “Dan, if this is you. You’d better leave right now before things get ugly!” I snarl out when I hear a deep chuckle and I stiffen, my fingers tighten on the phone. “Good thing it isn’t Dan then, princess. You need to come home.” That is all he says and I shake my head. “No, I don’t, Bear. I really don’t. How did you get my number?” I say going to hang up. Bear is another of Shane and Chase’s friends. “Your old man and brother have always known where you were. Did you forget that we are bounty hunters? But, Shannon, you need to come home. Your father and Shane.” His voice cracks. No, no, not today. Please, not today. “No, don’t you dare.” I say, feeling my throat close. My knees threaten to buckle and I drop onto my new plush grey sectional sofa. “I’m sorry, princess, I’m so sorry. You need to get home. They are both gone. They are both gone.” Bear sobs and the phone slips from my fingers and smashes on the floor. So you see, today could get a lot worse. Shannon’s POV. I move on autopilot as I grab my keys and head to the door. Need to get Chance. Need to get Chance. Need to get home. Need to make sure this is all a complete lie. I ride the elevator down to the lobby of the apartment building. The mantra on repeat in my head: Get Chance, get home, make sure it’s all a lie. I step outside into the biting December air as my hands shake, and not from the cold, from the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I climb into my car and start it up. I drive down the street towards the day care and park. Parents are already collecting their little ones for Christmas break. I shut the engine off and climb out of the car and move on autopilot towards the reception doors and wait to be buzzed in. I pull the door open and step into the warmth but it doesn’t do anything to warm the ice encasing my heart. Bear wouldn’t lie to me. He isn’t that sick to do that. Bear is like a brother to me. “Mommy.” I snap out of it as my son, who looks so much like Chase with his wild curls but with my hair colour runs to me with his little Paw Patrol bag on his back and in his gloved hands he is clutching a Santa Claus picture and a bag of oats with glitter and sequins. “Hey my little man. You all ready to go?” I try to be as normal as I can for him and he nod his little head and his white blonde curls fall into his hazel eyes and I brush the curls back removing the little hair tie and pull his hair back into the little man bun he wears. Just like his daddy once did. Now, I have tried to get his hair cut but he would throw a fit, so I learnt to pick my battles, and having a screaming toddler in a barber’s chair is definitely a battle I don’t want. “Yep, look it. I painted this for Santa, and this is food for his reindeers. Because they are magic.” He says with a whisper, holding the little organza bag up for me to see. I smile, looking at my little miracle. “Oh wow, look at these! You are so very talented, baby. Shall we go home and put them on the tree and the picture on the fridge?” I say to him and he looks at me, really looks at me as I force the smile and he narrows his little hazel eyes at me, hazel eyes like Chase, and I know he knows something is wrong. “Ok mommy.” He says and I lift him off the ground and he rests his head on my shoulder and we both say goodbye and wish the daycare staff a Merry Christmas but I know it won’t be merry for me. It never is. But I can make it happy and filled with love for Chance. He is my world and nothing will ever harm him. “Mommy, where is Dan?” Chance asks, and I instilled in Chance that Dan was not his father because I think deep down I knew one day I would have to go home, and it didn’t seem right having Chance calling someone else daddy. “Well, baby, he moved out.” I tell him and he lifts his head and looks at me and smiles and that has me stopping in my tracks. “Really, so it’s just you and me?” He asks, and that guts me. What exactly did Dan do to my son to make him this happy to learn that the man who was with us from when he was two years old is happy that he has gone? “Does that make you happy?” I ask him, and he hums and nods his head. “Yep, he was saying not nice things about you on the phone.” He says and I blink, not knowing what to say to that. “Ok, well I guess we won’t be seeing him again then, baby. Come on, get in the car and we will go home.” I say as I try to keep my anger in check, but right now I have bigger problems than Dan being a two-faced liar. I need to go home, home to the MC, and that will be hard this close to Christmas. Flights will be expensive and fully booked. Driving will take a few days. But I need to get home. Once I have buckled Chance into his booster seat. I drive us home to the apartment and park the car. I climb out and unbuckle my baby and lift him and grab his things and lock the car before we enter the building and head to the elevators. Once we arrive at the apartment, he squeals seeing the new sofa and takes his shoes off and leaves them in a heap by the door and runs before he climbs up on the sofa and drops on his butt pulling the throw blanket off the back and lays down rolling around and I chuckle at him. “Chance, I take it you like it?” I ask him and he sighs as he lifts his head up and his blonde curls have come loose and are sticking up in a tangled mess and he nods his head. “Ok little man, why don’t you watch your shows and I will start on dinner.” I say to him and he nods as I turn the TV on and he snuggles deeper into the new sofa and watches Paw Patrol. I grab my laptop and open it, looking for flights back home and it is as if God is working with me and I find a flight leaving tomorrow afternoon a direct flight home. I quickly buy the tickets and make a start on Chance’s dinner. Once dinner is ready — turkey dinosaurs, hash brown bites and beans — I call him to come and eat and he does without argument. Chance is a great kid, and he never complains. I help him up onto the chair and place his plastic Paw Patrol plate and cutlery in front of him and he tucks in. I sit watching him. “Baby, how would you like to go away for Christmas?” I ask him and he hums, kicking his little legs as she chews a hash brown bite. “Where to, mommy?” He asks, and I sigh, raking a hand down my face. “Back to my hometown. Something happened baby, and mommy needs to go home.” I tell him and he places his cutlery down and jumps down off his seat and moves towards me and lifts his arms up. I bend down and lift him, placing him on my lap. Chance is also sensitive and can always tell when someone is upset. “Is it grandpa?” He asks, and a choked sob threatens to leave my throat and I bite my bottom lip. Even though my family doesn’t know about Chance — or so I thought. Chance knows about them. He knows each and every one from the pictures and stories I tell him from when I was growing up in the MC. “Yeah, baby, he and uncle Shane.” I tell him and he sobs, and I lift him and hold him tight as we both cry for the loss of family. This is my fault. If I hadn’t walked away, my boy would have had a relationship with his grandpa and uncle. “Does that mean I get to meet daddy?” Oh, my heart, I gulp, not knowing what to say to him. “Let’s just get home first, ok? We need to pack because tomorrow we are going on a plane.” I say, and just like that, Chance cheers and giggles and kisses me on the cheek and wiggles down. “Erm, where do you think you are going, little man?” I ask him and he stops at the kitchen door. “To pack.” He says it like, duh mommy you are so silly. “Not until you have finished your dinner and had a bath, little man.” I say as I stand and move to him. I take his hand, and he grumbles about not being hungry. So, I do what every mom does. I bribe him with dessert, and that does it. He finishes his dinner and ice cream, is bathed and ready for bed and helps me pack. Tomorrow is going to be emotional and I know I’m not ready for the questions, the looks of disdain but f'k- them I’m going home to say goodbye to my father and brother and for my son to meet his father, maybe I should pack my bat and gun? Shannon’s POV. The terminal for departures is in complete chaos with families and businessmen and women trying to reach home for the holidays just like me and Chance are doing. I seated Chance on the luggage and rolled him through the queues and up to the desk, handing over our passports and information and we were ushered into the lounge. I quickly take him towards the gate because our flight is now boarding. Once we are on the plane and Chance is secured in his booster seat looking out of the window, he is so excited to be on a plane and is asking lots of questions. I have bought his cars, motorbikes, and colouring books, and of course, candy to keep him occupied. Once the plane taxi’s, and the flight crew go through the safety instructions. I hold on to Chance’s hand and he squeals and laughs as the engines roar louder and we speed up as we head down the runway as the plane lifts Chance lifts his arms like he is on a rollercoaster and I chuckle at him and so does the gentlemen next to me and I find myself doing the same thing as Chance and I look to the side and see others doing it. Once we have levelled out, I grab his things out of his bag and set them up on the tray in front of him and he colours and plays quietly. He is no bother. I pay for food and he has his lunch and so do I. I haven’t eaten anything since the day before yesterday, and I know I need to be strong. I broke down last night, especially when I found my cut in the closet. It says Daughter of Ranger. My dad. With the Shadow Reapers MC stitched in white with a reaper on the back and the MC name above and underneath it. I packed that knowing I will need to wear that at the funeral. Good grief, what exactly happened? How did they both die, and on the anniversary of my mother’s murder? “Mommy, are we there yet?” Chance asks, pulling me out of my thoughts and I chuckle, shaking my head. “Not yet, baby. Why don’t you have a little snooze? I will wake you when we arrive.” I say and that does it. He yawns and rubs his tired eyes. Chance didn’t sleep long last night because he was overexcited. “But mommy, I’m not sleepy.” I ignore him and ask the flight attendant for a blanket and she offers me a small smile and gets one for me. “We both know you are. Now come on, sweetheart, have a sleep and we will be there soon, I promise.” I say as I place the blanket around my son and he fights it will his all but soon succumbs to sleep. “You are a great mother and he is a great kid.” The gentleman beside me says and I thank him. “So where are you heading?” He asks and I sigh and pick up my drink. “Home, we have had two deaths in the family.” I tell him, and his smile fades and he lowers his head. “I’m sorry to hear that. Do you mind me asking who?” He says, and I look at Chance and he is away with the fairies, his mouth open as he snores softly. I close his mouth and kiss his head. “My father and brother.” I tell this kind stranger, and he hums and pats my hand. “I’m sorry for your loss. I’m heading home to finalise a divorce.” He says and I look at him and he chuckles. “God, that is awful.” I say, and he chuckles and shrugs his shoulders. “No, I have suspected him for a while now.” He says and I blink. “So, your husband has been cheating on you?” I ask him and he nods his head like he isn’t fazed at all. He picks up his drink and takes a sip. “Yeah, so cliché. He was sleeping with his female assistant. Like if you are going to cheat on me, at least be original.” He says and I chuckle and he smiles at me. We talk for the remainder of the flight and exchange details with each other before I wake Chance to tell him we are about to land and he sits up looking out of the window as we descend through the fluffy clouds, and he giggles, bouncing in his seat. “We will bounce a little bit, ok so don’t be scared.” I tell him as we hear the landing gear drop down and Chance is looking out of the window. The tyres hit the runway, and Chance shouts, “WEEEEEEE!” as we bounce again and we slow down to be taxied to the umbilicus. Once the doors are open, I unbuckle him and myself and grab our carry on down from the overhead locker and take Chance by the hand and we head to collect our luggage. We wait at the carousel. “Tell me. How are you getting to the clubhouse?” Terry asks me and I smile at him. “I will hire a car.” I tell him as we wait for the bags to appear. “Nonsense, I will drop you both off. The Shadow Reapers MC clubhouse is on my way, anyway.” He says and I thank him, trying to get out of it but he is not having any of it. I told him about where we are going, and he made the flight enjoyable. He had me laughing, and he is a nice guy. So we wait as the first bags make their way out. Chance spots our bag and points excitedly towards it and I step forward when Terry moves and grabs it off for me. I thank him as he collects his and I place Chance on the luggage again and push it out through the throng of people. Once we are through, we follow Terry to his waiting SUV. His driver takes our luggage and places it in the trunk and I help Chance into his booster seat and we are off. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me. I can be there in minutes.” Terry tells me and I smile and thank him. “Same goes for you.” I tell him because even though my phone screen is cracked, it still works. We arrive at the gates of the clubhouse and Terry helps me and Chance out. Before he moves to the trunk and pulls our luggage out and hands it to me. “Good luck and I’m sorry, Shannon, for your loss.” He says before hugging me and high-fiving Chance. “You look after your momma, ok? And don’t let anyone be mean to her.” Terry tells Chance, and he nods his little head. “Promise.” Chance says and Terry chuckles as he gets back into the SUV. “Remember, if you need anything, call me.” He says, and Chance and I both wave him off. We turn and face the gates. “This is it, baby. This is home.” I say as I wheel our luggage with one hand and hold Chances with the other. We approach the gates and see a prospect. “What can I do for you, lady and little boy?” He asks, and I sigh and step closer. “I’m here to see Bear. He knows I’m coming.” I tell him and he sighs. “Look, lady, we are grieving and this isn’t a daycare.” He says and I notice the black band around his bicep. “Well, obviously. Just call Bear and tell him he has visitors, please.” I say to him and he rolls his eyes. “Ok, your majesty, and who shall I tell our VP is asking for him?” Bear is VP. “If Bear is the VP, then who is Pres?” I ask him and he chuckles. “Hunter,” he says and I take a step back. Of course he is. “Tell Bear that Shannon ‘Demon’ Kincaid is home.” I say and his eyes widen. Shannon’s POV. The prospect’s eyes widen and he pulls his phone from inside of his cut and gulps as he fires off a text to Bear and I look down at Chance and he is glaring at the prospect. “You ok baby?” I ask Chance and he looks at me and offers me a small smile. “I gotta go, mommy.” He says, releasing my hand to hold himself whilst crossing his legs. Oh no. “I need to take him to the bathroom. I take it the one in the garage is available?” I ask as I lift a wriggling Chance in my arms, placing him on my hip as I walk past the prospect and around the corner to the garage. “You can’t go in there.” He shouts and I ignore him and find the garage spotless. I push the door to the bathroom open and place Chance down, and he runs to the toilet. “Keep the door open.” I say to Chance and I notice the place is clean. One thing my father made sure of was that every inch of the property was spotless. “Tinkle, tinkle, little pee, you will end up in the sea.” I chuckle, shaking my head as Chance sings the tinkle song. Yeah, I made up a song for him when he started potty training to help him relax. Then I hear the sound of him tinkling and then a big long sigh. “Ok, mommy I’m done.” He says and I pop my head round the cubicle and he is pulling his grey joggers up and flushes the toilet. “Now wash your hands and wait for mommy ok, I need to go too.” I say and head inside the cubicle and close the door, resting my foot against it as I do my business, pull my jeans and underwear back up and flush. I step out and Chance is leaning against the wall with his little arms crossed, looking more and more like his father. I wash my hands and dry them before I hold my hand out to Chance and he takes it as we make our way back towards the gate. I stop in my tracks as I take in the broad back of Bear. He tenses and turns slowly, holding Chance’s backpack. “Shannon.” He says in a whisper and I nod my head, feeling the sting of tears as I stay stock still when Bear approaches me and looks from me to Chance, who has positioned himself in front of me. “Oh girl, it is so great to see you again,” Bear says when he squats down and is eye level with Chance. “Why hello, little man. I’m Bear. What is your name?” I look at chance and I nod my head encouraging. “Uncle Bear, I’m Chance Hunter Kincaid. Mommy showed me your picture, but you look different,” Chance says, tilting his head to the side, and I chuckle. Bear smiles and holds his hand out to Chance and Chance shakes his hand. “Yeah, I have a beard now.” Bear says before he looks at me with a question in his eyes. He stands and opens his arms for me and I don’t think. I fling myself into his arms and find myself sobbing on his shoulder as he lifts me up. “It’s good to see you again, Shan. I’m sorry it is under these circumstances. The house is ready and I haven’t told him you’re here. He has taken this hard, but you need to tell him the truth.” Bear whispers in my ear before he kisses my cheek and lets me down. He being Chase. Bear picks up Chance, resting him on his hip. “There is more that I didn’t tell you, but for now let’s get you both settled, and I will call my ol lady to let her know you are home.” He says, and that shocks the life out of me. Bear has an ol lady? Well, I never. Bear is called Bear because of his size and his grizzly attitude. I know the women in town or hang-arounds and sweet butts were terrified of him and whenever any one of them thought they could crack that exterior, we would growl and they would run away crying. “I would love to meet the woman who broke down your walls.” I say and he chuckles as he takes my luggage and we walk towards the house that I grew up in at the back of the clubhouse. “Where is everyone?” I ask because the compound feels abandoned. “Inside the clubhouse, mourning.” He says and I nod my head in understanding. “I will have to let Chase know you are here, otherwise he will have my guts for garters.” Bears says and I know he is right. I can’t be put off. “That’s fine, just tell him to keep his cool. I may not have had to use my gun in a while but I still know how to shoot.” I say quietly so that Chance doesn’t hear me and Bear chuckles. “You haven’t changed.” He says and I find myself scoffing before I chuckle. No, I really have. I have become somewhat tame, locked that part of myself away and for good reason. Living in the city and working a dead-end job and living with a cheating, backstabbing traitor. I could never be who I really am, besides I have Chance to take care of and he doesn’t need that side of me coming out. I see the two-storey house that my parents built, the porch swing and the light on beside the door. The drapes are drawn. Bear hands me the key, and I take it but not before seeing the picture keyring on the fob. Pictures of my mother, father, me and Shane. I push the key into the lock and take a breath to steady myself as I turn the key and push the door open. The smell of home hits me. The smell of lavender and spice. I walk inside and turn the lights on. It is exactly as I remember it. I feel my heart crack as I step into the living room and see the big canvas picture of my family above the fireplace. Tears blur my vision. I walk through the living room, hearing my father’s voice telling Shane to stop being such a bad influence on his not-so-little friend. Shane rolls his eyes as he puts his jacket on, kisses me on the head, and walks out the door. Dad would turn to me and open his arms wide and I would always walk into them and he would kiss my head and tell me he loves me and that mom would be so proud of me before telling me to stay out of trouble before he leaves. Everything is how I left it four years ago. I walk through the house and up the stairs and stop at the door that leads to what was my room. “They left it for you.” Bear says from behind me, and I nod my head as I open the door, and memories slam into me. Memories. That is all I will have now. My knees buckle and I drop onto the soft grey carpet as I see Shane sitting on my bed with me bedside him as we watched a movie or played a video game. I can hear his laughter when he wins and my determination to beat him. “I love you sis, no matter where you go, you will never be alone.” Those words are what he said the day I left. Never have those words felt like ash and lies. “But you did. You have left me alone.” I say aloud when I feel little arms wrap around me from behind and I sob before pulling myself out of the funk and reach round and lift Chance and place him on my lap as I cross my legs and wrap him in my arms. Bear shuffles behind me and sits behind me and wraps his arms around us both. “Let it out, Shan.” He says and I break quietly as I feel the presence of my mom, my dad and now my brother. “What happened?” I ask, and Bear sighs. “You need to speak to Chase.” He says before kissing my head and I nod my head. “Hello.” A woman calls out when I hear a cry and I look at Bear and he grimaces. “It that a baby? You have a baby?” I say to him and he shakes his head. “Hello. Harry, are you up here?” The woman’s voice gets closer, and he looks at me and stands and lifts Chance from me and helps me up. “In here, babe.” He calls out, and a woman who is easier five foot three stops at the door and looks at me and offers me a sad smile. “Shannon, this is my ol lady Katie. Katie, this is Shannon Kincaid and her son Chance.” The woman is stunning, baby blue eyes, shoulder-length dark hair with pink and purple through it. She has a heart-shaped face and a button nose and full pink lips. “I’m sorry for your loss.” She says when a baby’s cry pierces the air and my stomach flips and I go into momma mode and I walk towards the sound with chance beside me, my maternal instinct kicks in. I pick Chance up and run down the stairs and stop in the doorway to the living room, seeing two car seats. Both with a baby girl in. I move towards them when they open their eyes and I drop to my knees. White-blonde hair and silver-coloured eyes. I look at Bear and Katie over my shoulder. “Whose babies are they?” I ask because my heart is drumming hard and fast against my ribcage as Chance looks at the girls. “Look, mommy they have your hair and eyes.” Chance says, pointing and I gulp. “These are Shane and Lily’s girls. Lily was Shane’s ol lady and was with him and your father when the accident happened. They were on their way to pay respects to your mom. Shannon, these are your nieces, Gypsy, and Rose.” Chase ‘Hunter’ Briggs POV. I bring the bottle of beer to my lips as I sit in the VIP corner of the bar. The music is low and the members are sombre. Gosh, even the sweet kids aren’t their usual happy selves. We lost two great men yesterday and a kindhearted woman, on the anniversary of the death of Sorcha ‘Gypsy’ Kincaid, née McCarthy.Honestly, Shannon is going to be devastated — that’s if we ever find her. She needs to be here. She should be here, but she isn’t because I messed up.I had the woman of my dreams in my grasp, and then that bubble had to burst. Ruby ‘Big Red’. Morrison — now Briggs — came to me when I was on my way to meet Shannon to ask her to be my ol lady. Ruby came to see me. She originally was a hang-around. She told me she was pregnant. I hadn’t slept with Ruby without protection and the last time I slept with her was a couple of weeks before I slept with Shannon. I had been with Shannon for nearly two months when my life went to pieces.Club law states that when a woman claims to be pregnant and it is confirmed, she is then made your old lady. It is archaic and deeply flawed, and I will be getting rid of that outdated law soon. When Ruby told me she was pregnant she had the test and we conducted a DNA and had the results rushed and I have never prayed in my life, and that day I did, I prayed that kid wasn’t mine but the big man didn’t listen and it turned out the kid was mine. The day I saw Shannon walk out of the clubhouse was the day it was confirmed and Ruby kissed me. She still says to this day that she didn’t know Shannon was there and I know she is lying. Shannon refused to talk to me and two weeks later she left. She told her father and brother that it was time for her to walk her own path and I know it was because she didn’t want to see her man with another woman, and so Ranger and Bloodhound let her go. I received a black eye, a fractured jaw, and several bruised ribs all because I hurt the club princess, our Demon. That was four years ago. The wedding was rushed with Ruby because her parents didn’t want her giving birth out of wedlock. She was three months pregnant when we married. She was ecstatic. I felt like I was at a funeral. Then, a month later, at a routine pregnancy appointment, the doctor couldn’t pick up a heartbeat, and I felt terrible because I had wished that child wasn’t mine. Ruby had to be given medication to induce labour, so I stayed with her out of guilt. But that didn’t stop her from trying to get pregnant again. I only slept with her to try and get Shannon out of my system, which I know is wrong, but it didn’t work. Even four years later, Shannon is always on my mind. It feels wrong to touch Ruby—not that I want to. Our marriage isn’t a marriage. It is a mess, a mess I created. I’ve tried to divorce Ruby a few times, and each time she comes up with an excuse. At one point, she even hurt herself to keep me with her. Then I caught her tampering with protection, so I had the doctor give her birth control injections every three months. Not that I’ve slept with her in nearly two years, but I wouldn’t put it past her to make false claims or try to pin someone else’s child on me. I have made mistakes. I’m not perfect, and I’m not a good man. But there is only one woman who would ever have my kids, and she has just lost the last of her blood family on the day of her mother’s passing. I drain the bottle and stand up before I walk to the bar and grab another one. Before I see my VP Bear walking out of the door. I look at Stinger, my Sgt At Arms, with a raised eyebrow and he just shrugs as I make my way back to the VIP section. “Where is he going?” I ask as I slump back into the booth. “Probably to deal with Dizzy Darren. That prospect would forget to tie his laces if you didn’t remind him.” Stinger says and I scoff, bringing the bottle to my lips. “Well, it’s understandable. We are all lost right now.” I say and Stinger nods sadly in agreement. Bloodhound was meant to be president, not me. The sheriff came to us to deliver the news about the accident. That a semi-truck that was moving too fast. The brakes slipped, and the vehicle jackknifed and took out Ranger, Bloodhound, and Lily as they were waiting at the lights. The driver of the truck fled. Prez always wore a body cam, but that was taken by the sheriff, so we pulled up the traffic cams and saw the whole thing. Now we need to find Shannon and tell her the devastating news and that she has just become the sole guardian to twin girls that she doesn’t know exist. This is completely wrong. It has been a few hours since Bear walked out and hasn’t come back. I drink my beer when I hear heels on the hardwood floor and I don’t bother looking up. My body tenses and recoils, and it knows who it is, my ol lady Ruby. “Hey baby, you should stop drinking.” She purrs and I growl at her and try my best to ignore her. She doesn’t take the hint and sits on my lap before she leans against me but I don’t touch her. “You are president now and the club is looking at us to guide them. I know this is hard for you all, but you need to pull yourselves together. It’s nearly Christmas and we should be celebrating it.” She says and I again ignore her words. “Ruby, leave right now. We are grieving the loss of two great men—one of them my best friend—and a kind woman. Those girls will grow up without their parents and family, and you’re worried about appearances? And Christmas? Get out,” I snap as I lift her off me and push her away. She staggers on her heels and manages to steady herself so she doesn’t fall. “You can’t keep pushing me away, Chase. I’m your wife. Me, not that little girl, me!” she screams. I throw my bottle, and it explodes against the wall. She shrieks. I’m on my feet in an instant as I move toward her. “Never call Shannon that again. She is more of a woman than you will ever be. Now pack your things and leave. We’re done. And Ruby, you will sign the divorce papers,” I snap, and her eyes widen as tears fill them. “No. I’m your old lady, and you can’t get rid of me that easily. Besides, you need me,” she says. I laugh as the club watches. None of the brothers, their partners, or even the younger girls like her. They never have and never will. She’s an outsider, a desperate hanger-on. “If I wanted trouble, then sure—but I don’t. I never have. I don’t love you, Ruby. You were a mistake, and losing that child changed everything,” I say. She slaps me, and I don’t react—not even when I hear a gasp and everyone turns to see who is standing there. Members stand and I look towards the door and the first thing I see is white-blonde hair. I move and see that those silver eyes I see every night are red. She is wearing blue faded jeans, a tight white turtle-neck sweater that hugs her more than ample chest and hourglass waist and her cut. But my attention is drawn to the little boy standing beside her, holding her hand, with his blonde curls in a little man bun, and Bear and Katie, each carrying a car seat. My heart beat skyrockets and I hear it drumming in my ears, my palms sweat and all I want to do is grab her kiss her, throw her over my shoulder and have her under me, on top of me, beside me as I drive home inside her. “Shannon.” I whisper as the room fades around me and it is just her, me and the little boy. Shannon’s POV. I hear the longing and disbelief in his voice as he says my name just above a whisper. Chase tries to step forward when he is grabbed back by Ruby. I notice the diamond wedding band on her finger and the grin she gives me. “Hunter.” I say as my heart shatters all over again and he flinches at the use of his road name. Chance squeezes my hand tighter, pulling my gaze down to him, and I feel the eyes of the club, the family I grew up with, watching me. I lift my son onto my hip and look around the bar area. I can feel the tension from the members, but I know they are expecting me to react to Ruby and to Chase but I won’t. This club was founded by my grandfather and I have more right to be here than Ruby does. “Come on, Shan, let’s sit down over there.” Katie says and I nod my head and follow behind her as I take a seat in the booth and look at my nieces in their car seats, my nieces, children I didn’t know existed until an hour ago. I am their guardian now. They are the only connection I have with their father and the only family apart from Chance that I have left. Gypsy starts to get cranky and I reach to unclip her and gently lift her out and place her in my arms as Katie hands me a bottle that was in a warmer pocket. I thank her and I know some of the members have moved closer to the booth. I will catch up with them in the next few days but right now my focus needs to be on the kids. “Shannon.” I look up and see Chase looking at me with hurt in his eyes. I place the nipple of the bottle into Gypsy’s mouth, and she starts drinking. Rose is asleep, and I’ll feed her after I’ve fed her sister.“I’m so sorry, I’m so very sorry.” Is he sorry for the deaths of my father, brother, and Lily, or is he sorry for what happened in the past? “You owes me a dollar.” I look at Chance and he holds his hand out to the man that is his father and Chase looks at his son in confusion, then at me, and I smile, fighting to hide the smile on my face. The members chuckle at Chance’s boldness as he stands there with his hand open waiting. “For the swear jar.” Is all I say as I focus my attention on the little girl in my arms, who has just had her life, like her sister’s, blown wide open. “Mommy, look it. He gives me a hundred.” I look and see a ten-dollar bill in my son’s hand. I smile at him. “Wow, what do you say?” I ask him, and Chance turns and thanks his father before running to Bear, who picks him up and sits him on his lap as Chance talks about the money and what he will do with it. He would make a killing here, but I know we won’t be here for long. Just long enough to say goodbye to my father, brother, and Lily. “Is he? Is he …” I don’t look up at Chase but nod my head. “Yes, he is.” I say when I hear a shriek and a glass smashing, Gypsy, Rose and even Chance jump before they all start crying. I snap my head up to Ruby to see her chest heaving and she looks unhinged. ““You lying little snake,” she screams. I freeze but tighten my hold on Gypsy when I hear a thud. I look up to see Ruby on the ground, with Katie standing over her.“No. If anyone is being shallow here, it’s you. Shannon is here because her father and brother died in that accident yesterday, along with Lily—so have some basic respect.” Katie hisses at her and I fight the tears as I soothe the kids. “Get her out of here now! Stinger, go with her and watch her pack. I want her out of this compound in thirty minutes.” Chase says, and Ruby only cries louder as Stinger grabs her up off the floor and drags her towards the front doors and out. Members who don’t have a property on the compound stay in the clubhouse, but some who do have properties here can use the rooms to crash if there is a party or they are returning late from a run. “I’m sorry about her, Shan,” Chase says and I look up at him as the tears fall from my eyes and I see the tears are dripping off his chin too. “She is your wife, you should treat her better than that. Once the funeral is over, Chance and I will be heading home with the girls. I don’t want to disrupt your lives or cause trouble. I only came home to pay my respects to my family.” I tell him and he staggers back like I just punched him. Maybe I did, but he destroyed us first. Whatever we had is gone. He made his choice, and it wasn’t me. “No, you can’t take my son away from me.” He snarls and I sigh, ignoring him when Chance comes to my side, looking at Gypsy, who is nearly finished with her bottle. “Mommy, I will stop people being mean to you, like Terry said.” I smile softly at my incredible boy. I hear a growl. “Terry? Who the f … fudge is Terry? Has he been playing dad to my kid!” Chase roars, startling the kids again. You know what? I’m done with this nonsense! “Terry is of no concern of yours. Even if he was my boyfriend, you have no right to be upset with me when you are married. Bear, can you take us back to the house please, coming here was a bad idea.” I say as I stand up and place Gypsy back in her car seat. I take Chance by his hand, and Katie moves to lift the car seat with Rose in as Bear takes the one with Gypsy in. I walk past Chase and he grabs my upper arm and I stop in my tracks. The brothers stand and move to grab their president off me but I hold my hand up, stopping them. I don’t bother looking at him, because if I do, he will see the pain on my face. Not physical pain but emotional pain. The pain he caused me years ago and the pain from losing my father and brother. The pain I feel for the twins at the loss of their parents and the pain of my son, who never knew his family, his father included and right now I don’t think I want Chase anywhere near Chance. Not when he is like this. This man is not the one I walked away from. Did he change because I left? No, I shake that thought away. “You will not be taking my son away from me. Like him, you are mine, just like I am yours.” He whispers in my ear and I shiver before I turn my head to look at him. Letting him see the devastation and pain on my face that I wanted to spare him from. He winces but quickly covers it. “You lost that right when you kissed Ruby that day and then made her your ol lady. I heard what you said about her losing your kid and it being the best thing she did. You are disgusting to even think that, let alone say it aloud.” I say, and he releases my arm and steps back with a wounded look on his face. “This isn’t over, Shan, and you know it.” He says as I walk towards the doors of the clubhouse but stop and turn to look at him, the brothers, their ol ladies and even the sweet butts standing behind him all of them look gutted some even ashamed at what their prez has said here today. “It was over before it began. You made sure of that, now deal with the consequences.” I say, pulling the doors open and walking through them. “You ok mommy?” Chance asks and I gulp down the hurt, the heartbreak, and the betrayal down as deep as it will go and smile at my son. “Yes, little man. I’m more than ok.” I say, and he runs ahead of me, and I follow him. I know Chase is watching me. I can feel his stare. But I don’t stop, I don’t turn around and run into his arms, because as much as I want to deny it. Chase is my home. He always was and I know deep down he always will be. Why is this so messed up? Why does this always happen to me at Christmas?