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every summer I tell myself this is the year I wear shorts. it's never the year. I see other women at the grocery store in cutoffs and tank tops and they're not even thinking about it. they just got dressed and left the house. didn't stand in front of a mirror and turn around and check. didn't change twice. didn't google "do my legs look bad" before walking out the door. they just put on shorts and went to buy milk. I want that so bad it makes me sick. I just want to get dressed without thinking. I want to grab whatever's on top of the pile and walk out and not care what angle the sun is hitting my legs. I want to sit down at a restaurant patio and not immediately check if the person across from me can see the back of my thighs. I want one summer where I'm just hot and I wear less clothes and that's it. that's the whole thought process. I'm hot so I wore shorts. done. instead I wear linen pants in 95 degrees. I sweat through them. I tell myself at least nobody saw. as if that's living. I've had cellulite since I was 15. I'm 38. I've spent 23 summers hiding. my sister sent me compression leggings. buy one get one free. I wore them under everything for two weeks. I wasn't paying attention. I wasn't tracking it. I just noticed one day the back of my thighs didn't look like something was wrong with them anymore. It suddenly looked so much smoother than I imagined. last saturday I wore shorts to the farmers market. and here's the thing. I didn't decide to be brave. I didn't have a moment. I didn't do a mirror check. I just put them on because it was hot. that's it. I was hot so I wore shorts. I've been waiting 23 summers for that. buy 1 get 1 free. free shipping. 30 day money back.