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My best friend's daughter potty trained in 3 days, while mine took over a year. Here's what we did differently... Because when I look back at that year with my daughter, I realize I made it SO much harder than it needed to be. My friend Melissa and I had our daughters three days apart. We were pregnant together, went through labor at the same hospital, raised them side by side. I thought "how hard can potty training be?" I'd seen so many moms online do it in a weekend. Heck, there's even a method called "3 day potty training." Oh boy was I wrong.... --- Last spring, Melissa and I decided to start potty training together. We picked the same weekend. Made it fun. Did it side by side. I bought the cute potty. I bought the sticker charts. And I stocked up on pull-ups because I HATE changing diapers and didn't want pee on my rugs. And that was the decision that wasted over a year of our lives. Day 3, Melissa texts me: "Mia went twice today! She's getting it!" Day 3 for us? My daughter Lily had 10 accidents and screamed at the potty. I texted back: "That's amazing! We're still figuring it out." I figured okay, some kids are faster. Lily will get there. Week two, Melissa: "She's basically got it. Maybe one accident a day." Week two for us? Still 8-10 accidents daily. I stopped updating her. Month later, we met at the park. Mia ran up and said "Mommy I need to potty." They walked to the bathroom together. Done. Lily had TWO accidents while we were there. I watched Melissa's face. She was trying so hard not to look surprised. On the drive home, I felt so defeated. Same age. Same start time. Why did Mia train in days and Lily didn't train in months? And I had no idea why. --- So I kept trying. For a year. Three-day method. Rewards. Timers every 20 minutes. Nothing worked. She'd say "I don't need to go" and pee two minutes later. I thought she was stubborn. I thought she "wasn't ready." Month eight, our pediatrician said "some kids just take longer." But Mia didn't take longer. Month eleven, I was exhausted. Buying pull-ups. Cleaning accidents. Feeling like I was failing. --- So I was doom-scrolling Instagram one night, trying to unwind. And I found a Reel from a Pediatric Therapist explaining the "Sensory Loop." She asked a question that stopped me in my tracks: "How can you teach a child to control a sensation they literally cannot feel?" She explained that modern disposables are engineering marvels. They absorb moisture so fast that the skin stays perfectly dry. And that's when it hit me. That's why Lily said "No" when I asked if she was wet. She wasn't lying. She genuinely didn't feel it. She went on to say: "You are trying to teach them to control a bladder they are deaf to." She said the solution is to remove the disposables immediately. BUT... she said do not use regular underwear either. Because while underwear helps them feel wet, it creates huge puddles on your floor. And cleaning up accidents 5 times a day creates stress, which makes the child shut down. So you are stuck: Disposables = No Feeling (No Learning). Underwear = Huge Mess (High Stress). She said you need a hybrid - "Training Pants." She recommended UpAiry training pants. She said they have a specific technology that stays wet against the skin for just long enough to send a "signal" to the brain. It creates a sensory "Cause and Effect." Pee = Wet. Wet = Yuck. But the outer layer locks it in so it doesn't leak everywhere. She also said this is why the last generation (our parents) never had the issues we have. They all used cloth diapers where the toddler COULD feel their mess. She said she'd tried a few other brands out there but the UpAiry ones were the best she'd used. It sounded too simple, but the logic made sense. So I ordered them. --- Day 1 of using them: Lily peed. Stopped playing immediately. Looked down. "Wet." She felt it. The connection was instant. With disposables, it took months for her to even notice she was peeing. Day 2: She started to go, felt the dampness, and ran to the potty to finish. She realized she could STOP the "yuck" feeling by using the potty. Day 3: She was dry most of the day. She went to the potty every time she felt the urge. THREE. DAYS. I looked at my husband and said, "Melissa's daughter trained in 3 days because she used something different. We struggled for a YEAR because of disposables?" --- The next week, I asked Melissa what she'd used. She said "Oh, I didn't use disposables. My sister told me they don't work because kids can't feel them. I used UpAiry training pants from day one." I just stared at her. That was the only difference. Not her method. Not her kid. What Mia was wearing let her feel wetness immediately. What Lily was wearing erased the signal for a year. When I got home I looked back through our texts and saw that she had originally sent me the link to UpAiry. I ignored it and thought "We don't need those" 🤦🤦🤦🤦 --- Also!!! I told three other moms I know who were struggling. All were using disposables. All switched. One texted me a week later: "Day 5. She's trained. I'm crying. Thank you." Another: "He went from no awareness to fully trained in 10 days." Third: "Why doesn't everyone know this?" --- So if you're struggling with a toddler who won't train, and you've tried everything, check what they're wearing. Training pants let them feel it immediately. That's what teaches them. That's the difference between 3 days and a year. Hope this saves another mom a year of stress. **EDIT:** Getting a lot of DMs asking which ones we used. The training pants Melissa used (and what finally worked for us) are UpAiry: https://www.upairy.com/pages/training-underwear This page explains everything way better than I can.