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Alaric pulled me back when I tried to leave. I fell into his lap deliberately, letting him kiss me hungrily. This was my plan - provoke Liliana. I whispered urgently, guiding him to the Matriarch's office - HER office. We claimed the space as ours, our covenant bond undeniable. When Liliana burst in furious, finding us entwined on her couch, I smirked at her. 'Every time you touch him, I'll reclaim him publicly,' I sent to her mind. "Not in here!" Liliana stated in an angry tone. Alaric's Alpha spirit surfaced, roaring "GET OUT!" at her - from her own office. Then his eyes turned on me, and crashed his mouth down onto mine with desire. Chapter 1 Once again, my body betrayed me to the Blood Covenant between me and Alpha Alaric von Wolfsburg of the House of von Wolfsburg. His touch made me feel pleasure and desire. I knew I shouldn't let him touch me. I shouldn't want his touch or his kiss. I shouldn't drown in the pleasure his body could bring to mine. The day I met him, I thought he was the perfect gentleman he showed to the world. A handsome and charming man who wanted me. He was 130 years old but looked like he was only 30. He had never sealed a Blood Covenant in all that time. He didn't have a single mark on him. I thought he had waited patiently for me, his partner bound by the sacred covenant. My parents were so proud of me. I was the heiress of the Blackwood Clan, bound by blood to a powerful Alpha. He hadn't hesitated to claim me. I was only 19, about to turn 20. He found me at a formal gathering and claimed me in front of everyone. He smiled at me and kissed me lovingly. He marked me and sealed our covenant. He did all the things that made me happy, and I accepted him with all my heart. I was young and naive. It took five weeks of living in his family's ancestral castle to realize things weren't right between us. I was too happy in my little love bubble from the Blood Covenant to see who he really was. He was more than happy to have me in his bed every night. He enjoyed touching me as much as I enjoyed being touched by him. But that was all it would ever be. I often saw him with the noblewoman who helped him run the House, a woman named Liliana. She had been his acting Luna for six decades. I didn't think anything of it at first. Of course he needed someone to help him. He was 130 and had been an Alpha for 100 of those years. It made sense that he would train someone to help him until his true partner came along. I saw the logic in it. That was how he explained Liliana to me. She held the title of acting Luna for his House. She had an office and a suite in the family wing of the castle. It wasn't just any suite. She lived inside the Matriarch's Chambers. He said that since she held the title, it was only fair to place her there so she could get the respect of the House, as any Luna should. I accepted all of this from Alaric because it seemed logical. Liliana had smiled at me and shaken my hand. She congratulated me on my covenant with Alaric, and congratulated him on finding me. She smiled and said we would produce a handsome and strong heir for the House. Alaric told me he would have Liliana arrange lessons for me after my official investiture ceremony. I smiled at him. Why wouldn't I? He was my covenant partner and had brought me into his House right away. He announced me to everyone as his partner that very day. It all seemed normal. Nothing was out of the ordinary. I moved into the Alpha's suite, and we couldn't get enough of each other. He was very attentive to my needs. His primal spirit had bonded with mine many times, more than Alaric and I had. It was clear our primal spirits were fully connected. But I was blinded by the Blood Covenant. I understand that now. His spirit loved mine, but Alaric did not love Eleonora. He loved someone else. I found out the truth, and he thinks I don't know. He doesn't know that I overheard him talking to Liliana, the woman who lived in the Matriarch's Chambers and was the true Luna of this House. I was sitting at breakfast just five weeks after I came here, to the House of von Wolfsburg. I was smiling and talking with my new friends. I smelled him coming. I smiled and turned toward the corridor where I knew he would appear. I focused my hearing on where he was, only to have my heart shatter. My love bubble burst when I heard his words. "It's just the Blood Covenant, Liliana. Only my primal spirit loves hers. I don't love Eleonora, you know I love you and always will. That's why you're the Luna." His voice was soft. He clearly wasn't expecting me to be in the dining room. Then Liliana said words that hit me like a slap. "I know that having her here gives you more strength, and an heir from a pure bloodline too." She sighed, and they stopped walking. "I just find it difficult to see you with her. I will be your Luna always, I know this." "You're a perfect Luna. I love you for that, and I love you. I will keep you in the Matriarch's office. I just need one heir from her, and then you and I can go back to being together." My primal spirit, Rosa, whined in pain inside my mind. I got up and left the dining hall before they came in. I rushed out of the room. Everyone in there must have heard him say it. Or maybe they already knew how it was going to be for me and just left me in the dark. Tears fell down my face. I was so stupid to think he loved me. I had allowed myself to love him. I had given myself completely to our Blood Covenant and fallen for him in every way. But now it was all a lie. All he wanted was an heir. Then he was either going to get rid of me, or betray me and our covenant. I didn't know which it was. I went back to our suite. No, this was not our suite. This was the Alpha's suite. His suite. I wondered why I was even in it. Why did he bother to claim me at all when he was in love with another woman? Why didn't he just mark and seal a covenant with her years ago? It would have been better for him. He could have just told me the truth when he found me. He could have told me he already had a partner he wanted to keep. He could have rejected me. It would have been so easy. That was how it was done. I would have dealt with it. It wouldn't have been nice, but I would have understood. I knew Liliana. The woman was always nice to me. But now, with this news, what was I supposed to do? Just give him an heir and let him walk all over me? He would probably take the child, reject me, and keep it for himself. Then he and Liliana could raise it together as their child. I stood there, not knowing what to do anymore. I wasn't supposed to hear that conversation, and I knew it. I had been here five weeks. I told my parents the investiture ceremony hadn't been organized yet. That he was very busy and needed to find time. I said it would probably be in a couple of months, because there was a formal masquerade ball already planned. He couldn't put it off. That's what he'd told me. But I had just learned, at that very minute, that there was never going to be an investiture ceremony for me. Because Liliana was the Luna of this House. It was all a lie. Everything was a lie. He only used my body for the pleasure of the Blood Covenant and to try and get an heir from me. It wasn't just me that was upset. Rosa was too. We heard that his primal spirit loved hers, but that didn't change the fact that I was just something to grow an heir for him. Something to be thrown away after it was born. That day, I watched him act like nothing was wrong. He came into the suite, climbed into our bed, and kissed and touched me. He made me feel wanted and loved. I stupidly fell for it. I tried to convince myself that what I'd heard wasn't true. That maybe he just needed more time with me to let our Blood Covenant grow. I decided to try and make him love me, like his primal spirit loved mine. But as the weeks passed, I knew it was true. I couldn't keep him by my side. He spent all his time in his office or with Liliana, taking care of the House. Not once was I asked to go and attend lessons. Liliana paid no attention to me at all. It was like I didn't even exist for him, except for in his suite, in his bed. That was all I was here for. To make him stronger, because of my pure bloodline. Chapter 2 I set up a study in one of the spare bedrooms inside the Matriarch's Chambers. My online classes were about to start again for the new semester. I would bury myself in my studies during the day. It would keep me from trying to be a part of Alaric's world. There was no point anymore. But I wouldn't just leave. No. Liliana had to suffer for her part in this. Staying here, being Alaric's partner by the Blood Covenant even though he didn't deserve it, meant that woman would feel pain. She wanted what was mine, what was gifted to me. She deserved to know how it felt to be heartbroken and jealous of the woman in the Alpha's bed. Just like I was now heartbroken over Liliana being the true lady of his heart. I would stay and say nothing. Not even to my parents or my father, Alpha Bastian. I didn't want to tell them how wrong I had been. How stupid and naive I was. I thought I, a daughter of the honorable Blackwood Clan, could keep an Alpha like him. So I would bear it. A part of me wanted to get away from him. But another part wanted to believe it would change. That he would finally give in to the Blood Covenant and love me, like his primal spirit Hydro loved my spirit, Rosa. I knew a big part of me didn't want to give him up. Rosa didn't want to give up her mate either. Our union was a sacred one. There had to be a reason for it. I had to trust in the sanctity of the Covenant for now. So, I persevered. I smiled at him and tried to show him that I loved him. That I wanted to be his partner and his Matriarch. But it was no use. Three weeks after that awful day I heard him say he didn't love me, I felt it. The first time he touched another woman with affection. He touched Liliana, and I knew it. My face suddenly burned with an icy fire all down the left side. Pain ripped from my temple to my chin as he lovingly caressed Liliana's face. He hadn't slept with her. I wondered if he thought one caress wouldn't trigger the Covenant Backlash, because I didn't run down there and accuse him of betraying me. No, I just sat in my study room. I let the tears spill down my face. I finally realized that it was never going to work between us. He would never, ever love me. I was his partner by covenant, but not the lady of his heart. He could still come into these chambers and put his hands on me as if he hadn't caused me pain. My stupid body betrayed me to our Blood Covenant. My spirit, Rosa, called to his to try and strengthen our own bond, to have Alaric feel it and connect to me. But no. It was his spirit that mated mine, and then nothing. Alaric hadn't touched me at all. Then there was a sharp pain in my arm a few days later. And on it went. He didn't think I knew. He was off doing what he wanted, touching Liliana with affection, and I felt it all. He didn't kiss her or sleep with her, but Rosa and I felt every touch. Brief or long, it cut into us and stabbed at us every single time. And he acted like he didn't know I could feel it. Everyone knew touching another meant your covenanted partner felt it as pain. Then I saw it happen with my own eyes. Alaric was standing in the doorway to his private study. He was smiling at Liliana. His hand reached out and brushed a few loose strands of her hair back behind her ear. I felt it. The searing pain of his betrayal. The Covenant Backlash. It was a loving act towards the woman he loved, and it happened right in front of me. I had been coming down the grand staircase and had stopped to look at him, my partner. He was looking lovingly at the woman before him. That wasn't me. It was Liliana. I don't think I'd ever seen him look at me like that, except for the first time he found me. Even now, I knew that had been a lie, just to get me to agree to the Blood Covenant and come here. He was down there for everyone in the castle to see, openly touching another woman. He didn't care how it affected me, or who saw it and would talk about it. I gritted my teeth against the pain, even as tears filled my eyes. Others in the main foyer saw it, just like I did. Alaric did not care who knew. I hadn't had to suffer the full pain of him sleeping with Liliana yet, but from what I was seeing, it was only a matter of time. Rosa was gone. She retreated to the darkness of my mind. She saw it too and felt the pain. She realized Alaric was never going to care about us. There was no calling her back. Two weeks later was the annual House Hunt. I didn't show up. He sent me a sharp text. "Where are you? It is the Hunt." I replied, "I've sprained my ankle. Have Liliana ride with you, like she used to." He just replied, "Fine." He disconnected the call. He hadn't even asked what had happened, or if I was alright. He didn't seem to care. I sat there in the Matriarch's Chambers and more tears fell. His lack of concern hurt. Even though I knew why he didn't care, it didn't stop the pain. I knew he was happy to have Liliana ride with him. She was who he really wanted next to him. I was just there for the Blood Covenant, to produce an heir and secure the Continuation of the Bloodline. Nothing more. No more did I hope to keep him. No more did Rosa try to grow a stronger bond with his spirit. Finally, I accepted it, and so did she. We were nothing to Alaric and never would be. We were just his partner, never to be his Matriarch. I left our room that night and slept in my little study. I didn't see a point to being in his bed. My body was the only thing of use to him. So, I focused on my studies and committed myself to them fully. I spent my days that semester in the corner of the castle library or my study room and avoided him. Not that he noticed or even cared that I was suddenly gone all the time. He never came looking for me during the day, only after he was ready for bed. Falling asleep before he came to bed was something I learned to avoid. He could wake me from sleep with his touches and kisses, and have my stupid body betray me to him. His words about how much he wanted me were lies, but I still seemed to crave hearing them. I couldn't say no to the man when I was half-asleep. I took calls from my parents about how things were going and told them everything was fine, even when it wasn't. This was my life and my Blood Covenant to deal with. I didn't want them to worry. I would find a way to leave on my own terms. And I was not going to give him an heir. I would stay and make Liliana suffer the knowledge that Alaric was retiring to his chambers every night and sleeping with his covenanted partner instead of her. I knew that woman had to hate it. She had to be completely jealous of it. She was just biding her time until I was pregnant and birthed an heir for the House before getting Alaric for herself. They were both cruel, and they deserved to suffer. I would make them suffer for as long as I could possibly stand it myself. I would brace myself against those moments when he touched Liliana. And if he had the audacity to sleep with her, I would stumble out into a common area and allow everyone in this house to see what he was putting me through. I knew I was just waiting for that to happen. I even had a plan for when it did. It would be my way of getting revenge on him. It would make his own house see him as an Alpha not worth his title. I could deal with the pain until then. He wouldn't beat me down or make me a doormat. I would get my revenge. Chapter 3 I was walking down the stairs, talking to my father on the phone. I was heading off to have lunch with him. I had been here, putting up with Alaric and his attentions at night but also trying to avoid it. I would tell him I had to study and that I would come to bed later. But I had no intention of doing that and would just sleep in my private study. He had stared at me a few times this week, like he wanted to ask me something before he left for his office. I'd just shrugged it off with a, "Sorry, I must have fallen asleep at the computer." I would tell him that and then walk out of our suite altogether, or just pretend I hadn't even seen his look. I saw no point in talking to him or explaining myself. He knew what he was doing. He had to know I knew it as well. Yet sometimes his narrowed eyes would land on me, as if wanting me to explain why I wasn't in his bed. It was very simple in my eyes; I didn't belong there, even though the Blood Covenant bound us. When he did ask me what I was doing or where I was going, I always said, "I've got a class to attend," or "I've got a study group to attend." Then I would move away from him, heading for either the library or my study. It was also the truth. I did have classes to attend and studying to do. He could check if he bothered, not that he had. I would not let him and his betrayal affect me getting my degree. No, I was going to have something to fall back on when I left this house. But today my parents were coming to town, and I was off to have lunch with them, away from the von Wolfsburg estate. They had wanted to visit the castle, but I told them there was a nice place to eat in the city and I would meet them there. Today, I was dressed a little differently than my usual clothes, a little more on the dressy side. I knew it. I was trying to look my best for my parents so they wouldn't pick up on that something was wrong with my Blood Covenant. Although I saw Alaric walking through the Grand Hall as I came down the last set of stairs, I ignored him. I kept my conversation with my father going and my eyes away from Alaric. That was actually getting easier to do by the day. I was treating him the way he always treated me, I thought, as if he didn't exist outside of our private wing. That was probably why he was looking at me in the mornings. But he had started it, and I was just following his lead. That's how I planned to explain it, if he ever actually asked me what my problem was. Though I didn't think he would, or more likely, he didn't care to. Although today, I could feel his attention was on me. But I was on the phone, talking happily to my dad about seeing him and my mother. I was certain it was my dress that caught his eye, not me. Today I was wearing a simple but nice blue dress and low heels. I had even put on make-up and looked and sounded happy and cheerful. As though I didn't have a care in the world, because that was how I wanted my parents to see me. Normally I dressed in jeans and nice tops, with a pair of runners or walking barefoot. Liliana always dressed in nice clothes and had her hair and nails done. She wore nice jewelry. I had seen her out on the estate, swiping a card for the Matriarch's account to pay for her lunch with her friends. She had likely done it on purpose, right in front of me. The woman who took the payment had looked at me with some guilt. I had ignored it. I had been in the private café on the estate with a book to study, not wanting to be near Alaric or Liliana in the main castle. I knew why Liliana did it. She had seen that woman look at me when she came into the café. She had probably come in there just to do that to me and reinforce her position at Alaric's side. I had not even been given access to a house account with my name on it. I had been here two solid months now, and nothing. Alaric didn't care to give me anything, that was certain. I was still using the money I had earned for myself from my own clan, from tutoring the children who needed it. I was just lucky that I had gotten a scholarship to my university of choice. At least I didn't have to worry about paying for that on my own. As long as I maintained my grades, I would be able to continue it next semester. I was already making plans to move into a dorm on campus for that. I wasn't needed inside this house for anything at all. I was just there to warm the Alpha's bed until he got his heir for the Continuation of the Bloodline. I knew it. I was just about to get in my car when Alaric called my name. "Eleonora, where are you going?" It seemed he was curious today. Maybe he didn't like the fact I was leaving the estate. Who the hell knew? "Out to have lunch with my parents. They're in town," I called over my shoulder as I unlocked my car. "Do you want me to go with you?" he asked. I actually stopped and looked at him. I wondered why on earth he would ask that question. "No," I answered him. "You're busy. Go do whatever it is Alphas do during the day." I stated it and saw him frown right at me, at my dismissive answer to his question. But I had no idea what he did. He had never once tried to explain to me what his family's corporate empire involved, or the businesses he ran. I wasn't his Matriarch, so I didn't need to know. That was how I took it. I was also now just biding my time on that Dissolution of the Covenant I knew I was going to issue before leaving to live on campus. That was still pending, and I was hoping I'd be notified soon. I would still have to wait until this semester was over, but my life here was quiet for the most part. I had stopped interacting with the members of the house. That was just too humiliating for me, considering Alaric didn't care who in the house saw the way he touched Liliana. So I was solely focusing all my attention on my studies all day, every day. I had heard many of the house members call Liliana "Lady," over the past two months, and I was addressed as just Eleonora. I hadn't originally minded it, but now I knew the truth. And although it had really hurt in the beginning, I had made myself get used to hearing those words. That helped to keep me grounded and showed me just how right I was. I considered myself nothing more than a regular house member, and one that was planning on leaving the moment I had somewhere to go. Though I wasn't going back to my own clan. I would feel ashamed that I couldn't even keep my covenant partner interested in me. Barely a month after the covenant was sealed, some I knew would say, "Well, what can she expect? She is just a warrior's daughter from the Blackwood Clan." "I should go with you when you see your parents," Alaric stated, walking towards me now. "Why?" I asked. As I saw Liliana come out of the castle, she called his name. He turned to face Liliana, and I took the opportunity to get in my car and drive away from him. I wondered briefly if he thought I would tell my parents about the fact that I wasn't his actual Matriarch. Did he want to be there just to put on a show for my parents? I was not interested in doing that at all. I had enough issues with them asking about my investiture ceremony and when it was going to be. I had been here for two months now, and still there hadn't been any invitations sent out for it. It was something I was going to struggle to come up with an answer to at some point. I'd told them this month there was a major ball, but come the next full moon, what was my excuse going to be? Telling them that he was always just too busy didn't really cut it in our world. Alphas, I knew, put off everything to thank the fates for binding their houses with a covenant to honor and cherish. But that was not something I was going to get from him. And even if by some miracle he did offer to do it, because my parents called him and asked him about it, I knew he wouldn't mean it. He had not brought it up once in the entire time I had been there. I would rather it not be brought up by my parents to him and have him lie about it. Which would see me have to lie about it as well. So it was best that he just stayed away from them. He did not need to have anything to do with them, or they with him. Chapter 4 I smiled at my parents as I walked into the restaurant. They were already there, waiting for me. I raised a hand and waved. Then I hugged them really tight. I was so happy to see them. They loved me. They would never treat me terribly. I missed living with my clan, surrounded by people I could trust. For the first time in weeks, I felt Rosa, my Primal Spirit, come forward in my mind. It happened right after we drove off the von Wolfsburg estate. Now she was here in my mind, happy to see our parents. Rosa watched them the whole time we ate. I knew Rosa missed them too. So we would have lunch, and then dessert and coffee. We might go for a long walk as well. It felt good to spend time away from the estate and feel normal. Out of sight, out of mind. That was my attitude right now. I talked non-stop about my degree and how well it was going. I told them I thought I was going to ace one of my classes this semester. There was nothing I liked more than talking to my loving parents about how well I was doing at university. They were so proud of me. I encouraged them to tell me about clan life back home. Things were going well for them. On our walk through a large park, they reminded me that my little sister Nita was turning 16 next week. I had to come home for her wolf emergence on the following full moon. I smiled and nodded. "Of course I will be there. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Does she know anything about her wolf yet?" I asked. I had been able to talk to Rosa three weeks before I got her. "No, but we know she'll get her wolf, just like you did," my mother smiled. "Now Eleonora, will you be bringing Alaric with you?" my father asked as we reached their car. I had managed to keep the conversation off him for all of lunch, but now the question was here. "No, sorry, he'll be at a formal ball in one of his allied houses," I said. And he would be. That was good for me. I would get three days without worrying he would touch me when I woke up. I had been putting him off a few times by telling him I had to study. I stayed in the estate library and even slept in there a few times, just to avoid going to our suite. He gave me an annoyed look each time, but I just turned my eyes away from him and murmured an apology. "I'm sorry, I fell asleep while studying." I bowed my head to him, like a loyal vassal. I knew a true Matriarch never had to do that for her Alpha. He never told me not to do it. He probably wanted me to be submissive and bow to him all the time. It showed him that he had control over me, which was what I wanted him to think. He thought he was getting everything he wanted. His partner and his Matriarch too. Only he no longer had my heart. It was turning cold and filling with bitterness where he was concerned. My excuse about falling asleep while studying was my saving grace two or three nights a week. A few times I lied and told him I was having a movie night with some girls in the estate's private theatre, so he shouldn't wait up. He just disconnected the mind-link with me each time, but I felt his annoyance come through before it was severed. He couldn't ensure the Continuation of the Bloodline if I wasn't in his bed. I knew that annoyed him. It was all he wanted from me. I also knew I didn't have to worry about him checking my feelings through the Blood Covenant tether, because he didn't truly care what I felt. I still had to put up with him touching Liliana, and it reminded me every single time that he didn't care. It happened daily now, sometimes more than once. He really was a bastard. I just hoped he had the sense not to do anything with her today. While I was out with my parents, I couldn't help the hiss of pain the moment he touched Liliana. I never knew when it was going to happen. I could bear it after a few seconds, but I knew my parents would understand exactly what it was if they heard me hiss for no reason. His Head of Security had stopped and stared at me once, just two weeks ago, as I gasped in pain walking down the hall to the library. He had been coming down the hallway with a book in his hand, his eyes on the page, when he heard me and his head snapped up. I had felt those pains of betrayal sting my lower lip. I wondered if Alaric had kissed Liliana or run his thumb over her mouth. It had been brief, but I'd bitten my lip and drawn blood. I had looked at Matthias, my so-called Head of Security, but really, he was loyal to Alaric. His sudden attention was all on me. I muttered, "Bit my lip." Which was true. I could taste the blood. Then I moved on, away from him, before he picked up anything else. I didn't need him trying to comfort me when he knew what his own Alpha was doing. I didn't want anything to do with any of them. I saw my father frown at my answer. He expected me to say yes, because what future Matriarch traveled alone to her home clan without her Alpha? It was practically unheard of. Alphas were possessive, and protecting their Luna was their top priority. I wondered what would happen if the estate was attacked and I wasn't in the main house. Would they just lock it down without me inside? Probably. If I didn't exist, Alaric would be all Liliana's, and that was what she wanted. "He's just very busy," I half-smiled at him. "He is 130 years old and everything in his House is planned out for months in advance, so sometimes things can't be helped. I understand that," I said, and managed a proper smile for both my mother and father. "I will tell him where I'm going, and if he has concerns, I'm sure he'll make sure I have a full escort. But I know he won't mind me seeing my sister shift for the first time. It's a big deal in all families." My father stared at me for a moment, then just nodded slowly. "Alright. You'd tell us if something was wrong, right?" he asked. I smiled and turned around. "Do I look unhealthy to you?" I smiled. I'd lost a few kilos, but that could be explained by a new and vigorous Blood Covenant. All the bedroom activity. I had actually slimmed down a little. My figure was more trim, but not for the reasons everyone thought. Both my parents nodded. I wasn't withering away, even though my partner didn't love me. No, I was stubbornly holding myself together. I would not fall apart inside that estate. I would wait until it was all over and I had left. Then he could never see that he'd hurt me. I would be strong to the bitter end. I would show him, even after I was gone, that I would have made a formidable Matriarch, but he hadn't cared enough to love and cherish me. I was going to make him suffer the loss of me, on my terms. Then I was going to do something with my life and be a strong woman and show him what he had lost. He would have regrets when he saw me years after we were over. I hugged both my parents goodbye and walked back to my car. I sat there and wondered if I should spend the entire afternoon and evening away from the estate. Out here, I had Rosa with me, and that was a very nice feeling. I hadn't felt her in weeks. Being away from that place was good for my spirit. Chapter 5 I studied every day during mid-semester exam week. I buried myself in books in my private study room, and when Alaric came looking for me late at night, I told him exams were my priority. When he suggested I come to bed with that soft, commanding tone that implied he wanted intimacy, I actively said no. "You'll be more relaxed in the morning, better for your exam," he murmured, trying to convince me. "I need to study. That's more important to me than having sex," I stated without looking up at him. Dead silence stretched for a solid minute. Then he grated out "Right" and I heard him stalk off to our bedroom, slamming the door like he was angry. I highly doubted he actually was. It was probably just his primal spirit, Hydro, frustrated at not getting what it wanted. Alaric himself didn't want me at all. He was only interested in Liliana and couldn't have her right now because I hadn't yet conceived the heir he needed to continue the von Wolfsburg bloodline. I sighed softly as I heard the door bang. Then I thought, yes, let him be cranky about not getting what he wanted. I wondered if he only avoided having sex with Liliana because he thought it might push me over the line and make me actively reject him before he got what he wanted from me. He didn't actually know me at all. Nothing about my temperament because he'd never bothered to get to know me. Alaric had no idea if I would hide in my room and deal with the pain of the Covenant Backlash, or call for help from his house guard or the family physician. He had no idea if I was the type of woman who would stumble out of our suite in pain and let the entire household know just how cruel he was by betraying our Blood Covenant. And he was cruel all the time. He used our covenant bond to pull me into his bed, allowing his primal spirit to satisfy all its needs with my body. When he himself decided his own needs were too high to ignore, he too used my body to satisfy himself. Part of me wondered if Alaric imagined I was Liliana when he was touching me. It was likely, I thought, because we looked absolutely nothing alike. I was short at five-six with long thick black hair, naturally dark olive skin, and light amber brown eyes. I'd had nice curves when he'd met me. Now I was thin with an athletic build instead of curvy. I'd actually liked my curves. Liliana was tall, standing five-eleven without shoes, six feet with heels. She had long blonde wavy hair that fell to her waist, even in a ponytail, and light blue eyes much like Alaric's. Though comparing our figures, I thought mine was better. Liliana was likely a size six with small breasts and practically no curves at all. I wore size eight, had good-sized breasts, and my waist still had a curve to it despite losing weight. I looked good in a fitted dress and had curves that drew men's attention. Alaric had told me he loved my body when he first met me, and I'd believed him because his hands and mouth had been all over my curves. He'd cupped my breasts - they'd fit perfectly in his hands - and he'd grabbed my waist and groaned. I'd believed him right up until that fateful day when I heard him tell Liliana it was just the Blood Covenant, tearing my whole world apart. I found Alaric standing next to me in the library this morning, almost glaring down at me. It had been four days since I'd been in our bed, four days of me sleeping in my study room surrounded by books and tutorial papers. "What?" I asked, looking up at him from my cross-legged position on the library floor. I'd found a nice quiet corner in the castle library where the books were old and dusty, indicating no one came here to read them. Which meant I could sit alone without having to interact with anyone from this household. The librarian often asked if I needed something. I just shook my head and said, "I'll find it myself," then moved away from her. The woman looked at me the same way the owner of the pack café in town did - with an apologetic look of 'I know what's going on.' The household staff pitied me. I wondered if they believed I was young and oblivious to it all, or if they'd noticed I was never anywhere near their Alpha anymore. "You're studying again?" he asked. "It's all you ever do. Don't you care about anything else?" "I've got my final mid-semester exam in ten minutes," I glared up at him. What did it matter what I cared about? I was under no illusion as to what he meant. Don't you care to produce me an heir? That's all he meant. "Or do you want me to be uneducated?" I half-grated out. I was over him always blaming me for the things that were wrong with our Blood Covenant. For me not wanting to be in his bed or at his side. When he only ever came to me when he wanted sex. It was as if I was just his glorified whore, but without the glorified part - he hadn't so much as bought me a single thing or given me access to the family accounts. I didn't even really feel like a member of this household anymore. He hadn't even asked what I was studying or offered to take over the payments. Like any Alpha would normally do for their covenant partner. Hell, even just as the head of the house, they would discuss the education of new family members, see what they were studying and what needed to be organized. If the person needed to be transferred to a closer university, organize payments from the family funds, and have it paid back over the first few years through a contract. Alaric hadn't even bothered to ask what I was studying, and I knew why. Not only didn't he care to know, he saw no reason in paying for it because once we had our child, he was likely going to dissolve our covenant and send me away from the house. I saw his eyes move to my laptop screen as though he didn't believe me. I turned it to face him directly, tilted the screen so he could see it clearly, and said, "What? Do you think I'm lying about studying? You knew I was in my first year of university when you met me. But yes, go ahead and accuse me of lying about needing to study." His eyes moved to mine and anger flashed across his face. "Don't speak to me like that. I asked a simple question and looked for clarification. Don't be so childish, Eleonora. I've also noticed that you always have books around you." He turned and looked at where I was sitting. "Alone with just books." He swept his hand toward the aisle I was in. "Could you find a place further from where any of the household members sit?" "So what?" I bit out. "Should I give up my studies and just get pregnant and produce you an heir? Is that all you want from me? You're happy to have a covenant partner who's dumb and uneducated? Just a baby-making machine?" I dared to challenge him on what I knew to be the actual truth. I watched his eyes meet mine, and for once, I didn't care to see the anger in them aimed at me for him not getting what he wanted. What did it matter anymore? Maybe if I voiced what I knew about our relationship - or the nonexistence of one - he'd just dissolve the covenant. He'd just told me how he actually felt about me. I was just a childish woman to him. At least I knew now how he looked at me. Yes, I was 110 years younger than him, so I supposed I was a child to him. But if he didn't like it, he shouldn't have claimed me, marked and mated me, brought me here just to screw me over. "I have an exam in eight minutes," I said curtly and pulled on my headphones, turning my attention back to my exam that I was waiting to start. I saw him in my peripheral vision turn and walk away from me. I was glad. I focused on my upcoming exam. I smiled when it was finished. I was certain I had aced it and that I was going to get my first perfect score. I just knew it. I was very happy about that and proud of myself too. I'd always been a good student, but this - if I could get that perfect score on my mid-semester exams - would be amazing. I was excited and anxious about the results coming out in ten days. Chapter 6 I took myself into the city for my birthday. Not even Alaric knew it was upon us. I'd just turned 20, and he'd said nothing at all, not even a simple happy birthday. I knew why. He didn't even know when it was. I knew his was June 12. I knew his favorite food was baby back ribs with a tangy mustard BBQ sauce. His favorite suit was the double-breasted navy blue that he wore into the city to his human world corporate office. He had five of them, all identical, and he just switched out the shirt and tie. I'd learned a lot about him in those first five weeks. I asked a lot of questions about him and what he liked. But now, as I sat in a café alone, by myself for my birthday, I stared at the piece of chocolate mousse cheesecake I'd bought for myself. I realized he'd not asked a single thing about me in return. "Happy Birthday, Eleonora," I murmured to myself. I made myself eat the cake even though I didn't feel like it. I wanted to just smash it and scream, then burst into tears at how my life had turned out. Here, in the human world, I didn't have to hide how I felt like I did inside the von Wolfsburg estate. I spent the day just walking around the shopping center, window shopping. I checked my bank balance, thinking about buying myself a present, but then decided against it. I knew I needed to save every penny for leaving the House of von Wolfsburg in a few months, when the new semester started. So I only allowed myself that piece of cake and a latte to go with it. But I would be damned if I'd be in that house for my birthday when no one knew about it or cared about me at all. So, I would spend the day with just me and Rosa, looking at pretty dresses and clothes that one day, far in the future, I would be able to afford. When I had finished my degree and had a job of my own. Driving back to the estate later in the afternoon, I saw a sign for the botanical gardens. Rosa and I weren't ready to go back there yet. I pulled into the parking lot and just walked around, looking at the gardens. I was still doing this when my parents called to wish me a happy birthday. I smiled and thanked them, asked how they were. When they asked what Alaric had given me, I put them off. "I don't know yet," I stated simply. "He's in the city at the office. It will come in the evening with dinner." That's all I said as I sat down under the shade of a large tree. Again, I was lying to them. It was all I ever seemed to do nowadays, because I didn't want to tell them the truth. There was no present coming for me, and I knew it. I closed my eyes as I leaned on that tree and changed the subject to my studies. I told them how I thought I was going to ace my last exam, and was hoping the results would push me to my first ever 4.0. They both chuckled at my excitement. Even I could hear the happiness in my voice. My studies were my one solace right now, the one thing in my life that brought me joy. So, I let it fill me up and let my parents hear it all. It was my normal, so it made them believe I was okay. It kept them from picking up on my lies. How could someone be so happy and excited when their entire life was a lie? When misery lived in my soul and my own primal spirit wouldn't surface while I was at the estate, only when I was outside of it. I noted they hadn't asked about my formal investiture as Matriarch. They hadn't brought it up once. They likely knew something was off, but since I was so happy about my studies and telling them nothing was wrong, they were leaving me alone. They were just waiting, I thought. Waiting for me to tell them something was wrong when I was ready. Or maybe they thought things were still being sorted out. Not all Blood Covenants were perfect, and Alaric was a lot older than I was. There was a massive age gap. Sometimes an adjustment period was needed. They could think I was busy with lessons on how to be a Matriarch. Not that Alaric had brought it up even once. He already had a woman acting as Matriarch. If I happened to walk past the Matriarch's Chambers, Liliana was only too happy to remind me. She had gotten up once and closed the chamber door on me, looked right at me and said, "Please don't interrupt the Matriarch's business. It's not for you to do." Liliana had been in there with one of her friends. I had simply been walking past. I understood very well what my place was inside this house. I leaned on the tree after the call ended and wondered what Alaric would do the day I chose to perform the Dissolution of the Covenant. Wondered how he was going to feel when I chose to go home in a few weeks without him. Would I even tell him I was going home? I didn't know. He was going to be away himself. I could just leave after he did. He'd likely never even know. I doubted Liliana would call and tell him. She would just be glad to have me gone, and I knew it. I hadn't lied to my parents about him going away for a high-society ball. Three months in the house and every full moon was booked for him to either host a ball or attend one. I wondered what his reaction would be. A part of me was curious if he would be annoyed by my leaving. Or would he just not care at all? Hell, for all I knew, he might just say "Go, have a nice time, spend a few more days there if you like." That way he could spend quality time with Liliana and not worry about me seeing it. Hell, I wondered if I'd smell that woman in the Alpha's private wing when I got back. It was likely. Though if he caused me the Covenant Backlash while I was in my home territory, I'd just choose not to go back at all. My father, Alpha Bastian, would see to protecting me, I knew it. He was a good man and would even accept me back into his clan for that very reason. A part of me wanted Alaric to do that. To be with Liliana while I was gone, have my parents see it, have my father see it. And when it was over, just have him initiate me back into the Blackwood Clan. I might not be able to perform the Dissolution without him being right in front of me, but he'd feel me sever my ties to his House even if our Blood Covenant was still intact. He'd have to call my clan and ask if I was there, because I wasn't going to be picking up his calls. He'd have to talk to my father, and I knew he'd be told I had been hit with the pain of his betrayal and had chosen to stay with my own clan. That he could come and reject me because he had been unfaithful. I wondered what he would do if he was not only outed to my father, but had to go to me to formally end it. Would he go? Or would he just refuse and continue to betray me? Hell, he could Mark and Mate Liliana and effectively destroy me, which would give him what he wanted. Another part of me just wanted to issue the rejection and get it all over with. But Liliana hadn't suffered at all. She still had that man's love and attention every damned day. I'd yet to find a way to hurt that woman, and I wanted to, for Rosa as well as myself. Though if I walked into the estate today on my birthday and declared the Covenant broken, would he stare at me completely shocked? Or would he just nod his head and accept it? Turn to Liliana and take that woman to his bed because he hadn't been able to for months? I knew he wanted to. He touched her often enough for me to know. He had run a hand through Liliana's hair just this morning, and he had walked with her on his arm to his car for all to see. For me to see. Even today, on my birthday, I had to suffer through him touching another woman. A part of me really wanted to touch someone else in the same way, just to pay him back. But it wasn't in me. I wasn't going to be like him. No, I would not betray my Blood Covenant and give him the excuse to call me unfaithful. But I would, I knew, make sure that everyone in their world knew that he was before I left. I hadn't figured it out yet, exactly what I was going to do or how. But I would show him I knew exactly who and what he was. Show all the great houses he was a lying, cheating asshole who didn't deserve a sacred Blood Covenant. He could have Liliana after I was gone. And I wouldn't care to ever think about him again once I left. Chapter 7 I arrived back at the castle well after dark. Alpha Alaric was waiting for me, and he looked annoyed. I looked at him and asked, "What?" as I went to walk by him. I didn't know why he was annoyed with me. I hadn't seen him all day, not even for breakfast. "You just vanish from the estate and don't tell anyone where you're going. That is very irresponsible of you," he grated out. He grabbed my arm to stop me from walking past him. I didn't care that he was annoyed. "Is it? Were you worried about me?" I asked right back. I looked right at him with a surprised expression. He'd spent the day in the city himself. If he'd cared about me at all, he would have felt that I was in the city too. But he clearly hadn't checked on our covenant link even once all day. "Of course I was. What man wouldn't be worried when his partner just leaves the estate and is gone for a whole day and half the night?" he snapped. My eyes moved past him. I could see Liliana leaning against a wall just outside Alaric's private study. She was watching us. Watching as Alaric confronted me in full view of the household, a fight between the Alpha and his covenanted partner for everyone to see. I saw the corner of Liliana's mouth twitch up. I knew she had mentioned it to him. That was the only reason he knew I'd been gone all day. I thought Liliana was trying to start a real fight between us, but I didn't care enough to argue with him. I didn't see the need to. Liliana, however, enjoyed watching the way Alaric treated me so poorly. She took pleasure from it. I could see it on her face right now. I could wipe that smug smile off her face. I could offer to fuck him right here as an apology, for everyone to hear. But it was my birthday, and I didn't want to ruin it for myself. My eyes moved back to Alaric. The frown on his face was almost a constant now when he looked at me. I was not what he wanted, and dealing with me was not something he wanted either. I supposed he thought he needed to pull me into line, to remind me who was in control. That he was my Alpha. I frowned right back at him. "I don't understand why you say you were worried," I said, shaking my head like I was confused. Then I pulled out my phone. Many of the house vassals and guards were staring at the scene in the castle's foyer. Nearly two dozen of them. I clicked through my phone and frowned even deeper. Then I looked back at him, a full frown of confusion on my face for everyone to see. "You never called me to ask where I was. In fact, the only call I got today was from my mother," I told him. I turned the screen to face him, showing my call log. "You didn't call. Your people didn't call. Liliana didn't call me either." I looked right at him. "If you were worried about me, then why didn't you call me?" I asked. I put him on the spot for everyone here to hear. I saw him turn and look at Liliana, frowning at her now. Oh, so Liliana had claimed she called me out of concern. The dumb bitch didn't think I had the balls to call her out. All she'd seen was me being submissive and staying out of sight. She thought I was a scared, lonely girl hiding away, who didn't know what to do. She had this whole house believing I would just put up with everything their Alpha did to me. It seemed she believed it too. That was good for me. I tapped his arm when he didn't answer my question. "Alaric?" I asked. "Why are you so mad at me, yelling at me in front of the whole household, when you yourself weren't all that concerned about where I was? Because if you were, you'd have called me yourself, wouldn't you?" I said, for all of them to hear. His eyes moved back to me. "Where were you?" he asked. His voice was much calmer now. I noted he had reined in his temper. He knew I was right. But he ignored my question completely, because he couldn't answer it and he knew it. "You were busy today, all day. You had morning training and then breakfast with your vassals and Liliana. Then you headed into the city for work, I suppose," I laid out his schedule. I made sure he and the household knew that I knew what his day was filled with. I knew where my partner was. "So, I took myself out for the day. I had coffee and cake by myself, and then wandered around the botanical gardens. I had dinner there at the restaurant by myself, because I heard you tell Liliana you had a dinner meeting and would be back late, when she walked you to your car this morning," I told him simply. It was what I had seen. I saw his frown deepen at my words, at my long explanation of what he had done, and what I had done all day. He couldn't understand why I was telling him everything. I could see he was thinking about my words, trying to figure out why. I saw Matthias look right at me. It dawned on him what I was feeling. I held up my hand to stop him. Pissed off was how I felt, and I was thinking about it being my birthday. That was all he was getting from me and nothing more. I had learned to guard my thoughts over the months. For him, this was all about me having to spend my birthday by myself. That my own partner didn't even know it was my birthday. 'Leave it alone, Matthias,' I sent the thought directly to Alaric's Head of Security. 'It's none of your concern.' I saw Matthias frown now. Alaric turned to see who I was linking with, then looked right back at me. He hadn't missed the angry look I shot at Matthias, warning him to stay out of it. "What is going on?" Alaric snapped at me. I half laughed. "Hmm, that is a very good question now, isn't it?" I nodded and turned and walked away from him. Why should I tell him anything when he didn't care at all? "Eleonora," he grated out, "You may be my covenanted partner, but you still have to explain yourself to me." I stopped walking at the foot of the grand staircase. I turned to look right at him, knowing the household members were still watching us. "Fine. Do you really want to know?" I asked him pointedly. I saw something flicker across his face. I didn't know what it was. I had stopped trying to understand him months ago. "I took myself out for my birthday," I stated for all to hear. "I turned 20 today. I took myself out for cake and dinner. Because you..." I murmured. I actually heard the hitch in my voice as a part of my resolve cracked. I saw his expression change as he realized why I'd said everything the way I had. Because he hadn't cared at all, and I wanted them all to know it. "Were too busy. You have yet to even say happy birthday to me," I told him. I felt a single tear burn down my face. I wiped it away and turned and walked up the stairs, away from him. I heard many gasps from the household members. They all knew covenanted pairs liked to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries. It gave them a chance to spoil their partner. What I had done was tell everyone that he didn't care enough to even know when my birthday was. That he had spent the day with his people and Liliana and then in the city away from me, and I knew it. That he had left me alone all day and then had the nerve to ask where I was, to yell at me in front of everyone. And for what? For wanting to celebrate my birthday. All my life I'd seen how the Alpha of my home clan treated his Luna on her birthday. There were flowers and gifts, a whole day of just the two of them together. He would wine and dine her and the entire clan would wish her a happy birthday. I had gotten none of that. I didn't expect anything like that from him. And I even knew Liliana's birthday party was already being organized. It was going to be grand, from what I'd heard. Lots of flowers and music, dancing, a big party just for her in the Grand Hall. The whole house was invited. I ignored him calling out to me. It was too late. He couldn't even say he was going to surprise me with a gift. I had made sure he understood that I knew he didn't know when my birthday was. That he didn't care. Hell, the man didn't even know or sense that my primal spirit, Rosa, was buried deep down inside of me every day. That she was practically non-existent in this house. I might as well be considered powerless here. Not that he'd noticed. Chapter 8 I walked into the Matriarch's Chambers and to my private study. I shed one single tear. There would be no others. It hurt to say those words out loud, but I already knew the truth. I didn't expect to choke on my words or cry in front of him. I told myself he would never see how I truly felt. He didn't deserve to know. But there would be no more. That was it. I sank down at my study desk and turned on my laptop. I logged into my course, read through the next assignment, printed it out, and started marking the most important parts. I hissed in pain. I looked at my arm as the Covenant Backlash slid up it. I grit my teeth and looked at the ceiling. Even now, he would go see Liliana. He would take comfort from her, even though he was the one in the wrong. I didn't expect him to come here and apologize. I was nothing to him. But I didn't expect him to cause the Covenant Backlash again. Not on my birthday. I realized he was probably punishing me for humiliating him in front of the whole house. Because of the pain, I knew he would come into this room. He would stare me down. An angry Alpha, because I humiliated him in front of everyone. He wanted to yell at me for not caring about him. But I turned the tables on him, and he didn't like it. I wondered what kind of Alpha he really was. He was already touching another woman just to make me feel it. Would he yell at me? Would he hit me for humiliating him in front of his house? That wouldn't work for him. Without Rosa, the primal spirit of my bloodline, I would bruise. I couldn't heal it. It would take a week or more to go away. I would walk around the estate with the bruise for everyone to see. If someone asked, I would just say, "Alaric hit me because he forgot my birthday and I announced it to everyone." He would learn my words were worse than my actions. But one day, I would bite him for real. I would tear a piece from his heart and his soul. I would break our covenant for everyone to see. This pain was nothing compared to what I wanted to do to him. I wanted to gut him. But I couldn't. I was as weak as a human right now. My primal spirit, Rosa, refused to be a part of this house. An hour later, I heard the study door open. I knew it was him. I didn't even have to look. I could feel his Alpha presence in the room. "Eleonora," he murmured. "I'm sorry." He sighed and walked into the room. "So am I," I said flatly. I didn't look at him. But I wasn't sorry he forgot my birthday. I never expected him to remember in the first place. I was sorry I let him fool me. Sorry I loved him, only to be betrayed from the very beginning. I was sorry I was so naive. I thought a Blood Covenant meant love. I thought if I gave my love, he would love me back. That, I now understood, is not what it meant at all. No, it was just a contract between two bloodlines. The man I was bound to was cruel and unreliable. He was mean to the person he was supposed to love. He was all of those things. I saw him out of the corner of my eye. He knelt beside my chair. His hand reached for my face. I turned away from him. I didn't want him to touch me. He had just come from touching Liliana. He could go back to her for all I cared. "Don't touch me," I said, keeping my eyes on my studies. I saw the single red rose. He held it out to me. "I'm sorry, I forgot. Please forgive me," he murmured. He sounded like he meant it. But I knew it was a lie. Everything about him was a lie. I knew he could sound like he loved me. He could fill his voice with desire. He could even make it look real in his eyes. But it wasn't real. It was just the Blood Covenant, not love. I pushed the rose away and turned from him. "If you think a single flower you took from the vase in Liliana's sitting room will fix this, you're wrong," I told him. I knew he couldn't get a rose from a florist this late. It was after nine on a Tuesday. The only place I ever saw red roses was in Liliana's rooms. They were her favorite flowers. No one else in the von Wolfsburg estate had red roses in a vase. They were just for her. "Eleonora, please, I'm trying to make it up to you," he sighed softly. "I don't care about your apology, Alaric. You were going to tear into me downstairs when I got home." My eyes finally met his. "In front of everyone. Your inner circle, Liliana, your vassals. But you realized you had nothing to back it up with. You weren't worried about me at all. You didn't even know I wasn't on the estate, did you!" It wasn't a question. It was a statement. I saw something like guilt cross his face. I knew I was right. He had no idea. He just took Liliana's word for it, whatever she had said. "Just leave me alone. I'm not sleeping with you tonight, if that wasn't clear enough. So just go away." I saw his eyes widen at my direct words. He never used that word to describe wanting me. He would say sex, or making love. Sometimes he would just say he wanted me or needed me. He could even sound like he meant it. But it was just the Blood Covenant. I saw him stand up. He turned and left the room. He took the rose with him. He even closed the door quietly behind him. I was surprised he didn't slam it. I was surprised he didn't unleash his fury on me for what I said. But what did he expect? I had told him the truth. He went to Liliana before coming to me. He had the nerve to give me a flower associated with the woman he actually loves. He wasn't sorry at all. He was just trying to calm me down because he hadn't secured the Continuation of the Bloodline yet. He needed that from me before ending things. I put on my headphones and played music that matched my mood. I just sat there and focused on my studies. They were going to save me. They would get me through this nightmare of a Blood Covenant. The semester was half over. I could survive here for the other half of it. Going through this now would make me stronger. More resilient. When this was over, I could deal with anything. That's how I saw this part of my life. It was painful to suffer with a partner who didn't love me. But I probably wouldn't get another chance after breaking a Blood Covenant. I thought about it. Would I even want one? No. I could become a successful architect and live my life my own way. I could date anyone I wanted, human or not. I wouldn't care if I ever had another covenant or not. And I would never blindly accept anyone ever again. No. If another covenant was offered, and he wanted me, he would have to prove it. The long, hard way. I wasn't going to let anyone bind themselves to me again without knowing exactly who they were and what their house was like. Though right now, I didn't really care to have another one at all.