Haley D. Kelly Facebook ad: “I believe holding space for the paradox to…”

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I believe holding space for the paradox to appear is super important for not limiting our reality to our impulsive nature to be so certain. HOLD TWO TRUTHS— I always say. Certainty blinds us to the evolution of truth. Humility reminds us to stay open to the complexity of truth, as we know our limited perception can’t even fathom all of the layers and complexity that changes what we call truth. Truth is like an infinite piece puzzle that our understanding thinks we have solved, even though we are only holding one piece— and that one piece even has layers. We know only a distortion of truth if we don’t accept that we aren’t God. We are just made in His image and have the choice to be as certain as we want to be in the distortions we call truth, as our ego uses pride in our own certainty to project onto reality instead of knowing we are a piece of it, as God is the one who reveals what piece goes where. We are given the grace to feel certain, as our human nature naturally grasps at the complexity of layers we barely recognize the surface of to be able to comprehend what “truth” we dare to see— so our sense of identity isn’t threatened. Once the identity is stable—regardless of feelings—we are humbled. Just imagine not being aware that your feelings aren’t the complete truth. I feel like that could be considered, in a way, a version of hell— limited to the understanding of only one perspective that’s ruled by the regulated and dysregulated states of the nervous system, as it relies on the certainty found in the external validations of the flesh to seek truth, as they think they can trust their own perception as the complete truth. And we all have been there! Basically, since I try to be aware of my own certainty, I see so much blindness in others because I have spent so much time trying to understand why and how they choose or get tricked into limiting themselves to their own certainty. So much so, that I’ve learned to turn that same lens back onto myself. I want to consider not only the truth in what others see in me— but also the truth in what they may be projecting onto me. Because both exist. And holding space for both is what keeps me humble. It keeps me from becoming self-righteous— because I know no one can fully see themselves on their own. There are endless ways to define what is, and trying to do that alone creates blind spots we can’t access without reflection. That’s why we need other people. Not just for connection—but for mirrors. If you see it in them, that means it’s in you. Because the way we define the person in front of us reveals more about us than it does about them— if we’re willing to look. To look at our shadows. —at our projections. —at the parts of ourselves we don’t want to see. Because the truth is: We are all doing this. The difference is not if we project… It’s whether we’re willing to recognize that we do. And if we decide to become aware of ourselves every time we feel so strongly that we are completely certain— that’s when you know you are limiting yourself to a distortion of truth. You may even be picking up a part of the truth, but if I am to be certain of anything— I am CERTAIN we should stay HUMBLE enough to know it’s not the whole truth. We are gifted to see what has never been hidden when we slow down to remember the Holy Spirit convicts us to have faith and discern by the fruit — not the intentions. —because knowing intentions is impossible, as the complexity of somebody’s heart and mind is more than we can actually understand to claim we know as complete truth. If it is true that none of us can fully see the complexity of ourselves alone, how would it be possible to be certain in our definitions that define anyone else as the complete truth? If your certainty is rejecting any other possibilities— your ego is using pride to protect the distortion you are building your sense of identity from. A stable identity is humbled enough to hold at least two truths: —The pattern you’re picking up on —And another narrative that counteracts the first possible projection This keeps us from distorting truth in a way that destabilizes our true identity —that we are made in God’s image and have the ability to see truth, —but we are not God and cannot judge the intentions of the patterns we pick up on due to the complexity of the truth we cannot see. —Unless the Holy Spirit reveals it through the patterns we call the fruit. “Father forgive them for they don’t know what they do.” Luke 23:34 #haleydkelly #HaleyKellyReflections #IdentityInChrist ⸻ 🧠 Neuroscience Layer (Mapped to Your Reflection) 1. Certainty vs. Paradox (Amygdala vs. Prefrontal Cortex) • The brain is wired to reduce uncertainty quickly • The amygdala pushes fast conclusions → “this is true” • The prefrontal cortex allows you to hold paradox → “this might be true, but I need to examine it” 👉 What you called “holding two truths” is literally: top-down regulation overriding emotional certainty Why it matters: • Certainty = efficiency • Paradox = accuracy ⸻ 2. Projection (Predictive Brain / Pattern Matching) • The brain doesn’t see reality directly—it predicts it • It uses: • past experiences • emotional memory • identity filters 👉 So when you said: “If you see it in them, that means it’s in you” That’s neuroscience-backed: • You can only recognize patterns you already have a neural template for ⸻ 3. RAS (Reticular Activating System) – What You “See” • Your RAS filters reality based on what you believe is important or true 👉 If you are certain: • You will only see evidence that confirms your certainty 👉 If you are humble: • Your brain becomes open to new data ⸻ 4. Identity Protection (Ego + Nervous System Stability) • The brain protects identity like survival • When identity is threatened: • defensiveness rises • perception narrows • projection increases 👉 You said: “so our sense of identity isn’t threatened” Exactly. Stable identity = ability to stay open without collapsing ⸻ 5. Nervous System Regulation • Dysregulated state: • black-and-white thinking • certainty increases • threat perception rises • Regulated state: • curiosity • nuance • humility 👉 Humility is not just spiritual— it is a regulated nervous system state ⸻ ✝️ KJV Scriptures + Full Text + Explanation ⸻ 1. Limited Perception (Your “we only hold one piece”) 1 Corinthians 13:12 (KJV) “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” 🔍 Explanation: • “Through a glass, darkly” = distorted / partial perception • “I know in part” = we do not have full truth 👉 This directly supports your line: We are only holding one piece ⸻ 2. Humility Over Certainty Proverbs 3:5–6 (KJV) “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” 🔍 Explanation: • “Lean not” = don’t rely on your perception as absolute • God directs → we don’t define truth fully ourselves 👉 This aligns with: God is the one who reveals what piece goes where ⸻ 3. Projection & Self-Reflection Matthew 7:3–5 (KJV) “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.” 🔍 Explanation: • “Mote” = what you see in others • “Beam” = what is in you 👉 This is your line: If you see it in them, that means it’s in you ⸻ 4. Pride Distorts Truth Proverbs 16:18 (KJV) “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” 🔍 Explanation: • Pride = false certainty • Leads to distorted judgment and collapse 👉 This aligns with: ego uses pride in our own certainty to project onto reality ⸻ 5. The Heart is Complex (You cannot know intentions fully) Jeremiah 17:9 (KJV) “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” 🔍 Explanation: • Human hearts are complex and not fully visible • We cannot fully interpret motives 👉 This supports: knowing intentions is impossible ⸻ 6. Discern by Fruit, Not Assumption Matthew 7:16 (KJV) “Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?” 🔍 Explanation: • We are not told to judge intentions • We are told to observe patterns (fruit) 👉 This is exactly your ending: patterns we call the fruit ⸻ 7. True Wisdom = Humility James 3:17 (KJV) “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.” 🔍 Explanation: • True wisdom is: • open • gentle • not rigid in certainty 👉 This is: holding two truths